The All Beer Dinner Celebration

Dear Kid,

There are all kinds of reasons to celebrate today—I’m sure you can come up with one or two.

So I decided to provide you with the recipes for an All Beer Dinner. Ta-dah!

Not the frat kind of all beer dinner (appetizer: beer; main course: beer; side dish: beer; dessert: cheap beer, because by then who cares!).

This is the real deal. Or real beer. Or something.

We start with an appetizer of Beer Fondue. (Sounds delish, no?)

Beer Fondue

• 2 garlic cloves (or about that much pre-chopped up garlic)
• ½ cup beer (plus some for drinking)
• 2 cups dry white wine, divided (plus some for drinking)
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 pound Gruyère, coarsely grated
• 1 pound Babybel cheese, grated
• 2 tablespoons bourbon (plus—ok, you get the idea)
• ¼ teaspoon baking soda
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• Stuff for dunking in the fondue

Finely grate garlic into saucepan; add beer and 1½ cups wine and bring to a boil over medium heat. Whisk cornstarch and remaining ½ cup wine in a small bowl until no lumps remain (this is very important because who likes lumpy fondue?), then whisk into liquid in saucepan. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly.

Reduce heat so mixture is at a very low simmer and very gradually add Gruyère and Babybel, whisking until smooth (fully incorporate each batch of cheese before adding more).

Whisk bourbon and baking soda in a small bowl to combine, then whisk into fondue, followed by lemon juice; season with salt if necessary (it probably isn’t because of all the cheese, but to each his own salt level).

Transfer to a fondue pot and serve with bread, pretzels, and/or crudités for dipping. Or just chug it.

Because, beer.

After the fondue, we’re moving on to Beer Butt Chicken.

The key to great chicken is (obviously) butter, beer, time, a grill, and (even more obviously) chicken.

Beer Butt Chicken

Preheat an outdoor grill for low heat.

In a small skillet, melt ½ cup butter. Mix in 1 TBLSP garlic salt, 1 TBLSP paprika, salt, and pepper. Save this to baste the chicken.

Discard Drink ½ a 12 oz can of beer, then add ½ cup of butter, 1 TBLSP garlic salt, 1 TBLSP paprika, and some salt and pepper to beer can. Place can on a disposable baking sheet (disposable because you really won’t want it back afterward). Set chicken on can, inserting can into the cavity of the chicken.

Baste chicken with the melted seasoned butter.

Place baking sheet with beer and chicken on the prepared grill. Cook over low heat for about 3 hours, or until internal temperature of chicken reaches 180 degrees F.

Do not drink the beer that’s been in the chicken’s hindquarters.

Eat the chicken.

To go along with the Beer Butt Chicken, I suggest Green Beans in Beer Sauce.

Green Beans in Beer Sauce

• 1/3 of a pound of sliced bacon, diced (adjust for the amount you’ll snack on)
• 1 package (16 oz) frozen cut green beans (see how easy this is?); leave the green beans out to thaw
• 1/3 cup beer (drink the rest)
• 1/3 cup butter, cubed (throw any extra on the chicken—it won’t complain)
• 3 TBLSP brown sugar
• 3 TBLSP white vinegar
• 4 tspns cornstarch
• 2 tspns grated onion (or a bunch of onion powder)

Cook bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until crisp. Try not to eat all of it.

In a large saucepan, bring the beans, beer, and butter to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 8-10 minutes or until beans are crisp-tender.

Using a slotted spoon, remove bacon to paper towels to drain. Remove beans with a slotted spoon and keep warm.

In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar, vinegar, cornstarch, and onion until blended. Stir into the saucepan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until thickened. Add beans; heat through. Sprinkle with bacon. 

I assume you’re making your own bread. Here’s a recipe for beer bread.

Beer Bread

• 3 cups flour (sifted—this is very, very important if you don’t want to be eating a brick)
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• ¹⁄₄ cup sugar
• 1 (12 ounce) can beer
• ¹⁄₂ cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix dry ingredients and beer and pour into a greased loaf pan.

Pour melted butter over mixture.

Bake 1 hour, remove from pan and cool for at least 15 minutes.

And of course dessert. I offer two options. First is Chocolate Guinness Cake.

Chocolate Guinness Cake

• 1 cup Guinness (because, beer)
• ½ cup butter, cubed (are you noticing a beer and butter theme here?)
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup baking cocoa
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 2/3 cup sour cream
• 3 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

TOPPING:

• 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
• 1-1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

Grease a 9-in. springform pan (you can borrow mine) and line the bottom with parchment paper; set aside.

In a small saucepan, heat beer and butter until butter is melted. Remove from the heat; whisk in sugar and cocoa until blended. Combine the eggs, sour cream, and vanilla; whisk into beer mixture. Seriously, whisk.

Combine flour and baking soda; whisk into beer mixture until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan on a wire rack. Remove sides of pan.

For the topping:

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Add confectioners’ sugar and cream; beat until smooth (do not over-beat). Ice top of cake so that it resembles a frothy pint of beer. Refrigerate leftovers. (Um, what leftovers?)

Option 2 for dessert: Beer Cookies

Beer Cookies

• 2 Cups flour
• ½ tspn baking soda
• ½ Cup brown sugar (packed tightly)
• 1 tspn cinnamon
• ½ Cup butter
• 1 ¼ Cup beer, at room temperature (drink the rest)
• ½ Cup walnuts (or not)

Preheat oven to 350.

Cream together butter and brown sugar. Cut in flour, baking soda, and cinnamon. Blend in beer slowly to form a soft dough.

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto a baking sheet (lined with parchment paper if you’re smart) and top with a walnut piece (or not).

Bake 12-15 minutes until lightly brown. Cool one minute on cookie sheet and remove to wire rack.

Happy Birthday, Kiddo!

Love, Mom

Disclaimer: I haven’t made any of the recipes. But they sound good and MFtI recommended them. So enjoy.