Dear Kid,

Today is July 5th. Just in case you thought the major holiday of the month was yesterday….OK, the major holiday of the month was yesterday, but today is also a Day of Celebration.

Today’s holidays are brought to you by Whose Idea Was This? and You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

Because today’s holidays are (I am not making this up) National Bikini Day and Work-a-holics Day.

Now let’s just think about this for a minute.

What are the main activities for the 4th of July? Picnics, drinking, more picnics, more drinking, fireworks. And while fireworks are non-fattening, the same cannot be said for picnics and adult beverages. So who thought it would be a good idea to put Bikini Day right after Snarf Everything In Sight Day?

July 5th. Things can get confusing sometimes... DearKidLoveMom.comAs for Work-a-holics Day, on the one hand isn’t every day Work-a-holics Day? (Welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department.) On the other hand, there are a lot of people still on vacation on the day after the 4th, so perhaps it isn’t the ideal time to celebrate excessive working. On the other hand (yes, I know that’s three hands—either I’m an alien or counting isn’t really the point here), those of us that are working are pitching in for those on vaca, so maybe it is the right time to celebrate.

Mostly, I hope people don’t get the holidays confused. Seeing people wearing bikinis in the office would definitely be, um, weird, and people trying to work at the pool would be bad for computers and general productivity.

Personally, I think I’ll just stick with saying, Happy July 5th.

Love, Mom