Dear Kid,

There’s a story of a young man in New York City who had gotten slightly directionally challenged (this was before GPS was invented). Not knowing which way to go, he stopped a somewhat older gentleman and politely asked, “How can I get to Carnegie Hall?” The somewhat older gentleman smiled and said, “Practice, practice, practice.”

Old story.

But the point—practice, practice, practice—is not just for musicians.

Think back (waaaay back) to when you were learning multiplication tables. Ms. Schuh didn’t go over the math facts once and move on, she had the class practice. Again and again and again.

Even folks who are tops in their fields practice. Musicians practice. Athletes practice. Executives practice. Sages practice. In order to get better—in order to stay even—we all need to practice.

As a student, you practice. You call it studying.

Why is practice important? As many people say, “Practice makes perfect.” As one of Pi’s long-time coaches said, “Practice makes permanent.”

And as I am happy to add, “Practice makes professional.”

Keep practicing studying.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s the time of year when professors collaborate to inflict sleep deprivation on already sleep deprived college students. As I have mentioned (more than once), this may be nifty for sadistic professors but is lousy for students wishing to learn.

Here’s what happens. You have 30 hours of work to fit into a 10 hour time slot. You do as much as is humanly possible, then toddle your weary but awake self off to class for the next dose of knowledge.

But not so fast, my friend. Your brain is smarter than you are and goes off to sleep exactly 1.6 seconds into the lecture.

Huh?

‘Tis true, ‘tis true.

Parts of your brain (specifically the part in charge of not spilling coffee in your lap) stay awake. Other parts of your brain (specifically the parts in charge of problem solving and learning) take a nap.

What this means is that your lap and your brain both stay dry. It looks like you’re awake, but no one is home.

The solution? Sleep.

The reality? College isn’t designed to let you sleep toward the end of the semester.

The solution? Do the best you can. Realize that in three weeks there will be even fewer hours to sleep than there are now, so take advantage of shut-eye time when you can.

The reality? A short nap is better than nothing.

Love and happy napping, Mom

Dear Kid,

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because deciding is different than doing.

It’s easy to decide we’re going to do something. It’s even easy to say we’re going to do it and really believe we’re committed. We can decide to start eating better—until we get a whiff of pizza at lunch. We can decide to work out daily—only to postpone a trip to the gym when other commitments get in the way. We can say we’re going to start saving money—only to “invest” in the latest iPhone rather than a savings account.

It’s easy to decide all those things. It’s easy to say all those things. It’s easy to really, truly, seriously, for realz mean it. But committing, really following through, really doing what we say we’re going to do is often not nearly as easy.

Here are five tried and true tips for reaching your goals.

Tell someone. The fancy term is having an accountability partner. Just as it’s harder to skip the gym if you’re meeting a workout buddy there, if someone knows you’ve committed to a goal—and checks in with you on a regular basis about it—you’re less likely to find an excuse to slack off. Note: Your accountability partner should probably not be your mother.

Keep track. Whether it’s an app to help you track workouts, an excel spreadsheet to track your savings goals, or a hand-written chart showing how many pages you have to study to get through all the material before finals, having a chart is a visible way to see your progress. Because it’s right there in front of you, it can be a not-so-gentle nudge to get studying—and a great reminder of all you’ve done so far.

Ask for help. We all have our strengths and not-so-strengths. For example, some of us are hilarious while others of us can kick a football directly through the uprights in snow and rain and heat and gloom of night flickering lights (extra points if you get the reference). If you need help memorizing French verbs, find someone who can help with that in exchange for learning computer programming (trade), money (tutoring), or an introduction to that girl down the hall (matchmaking).

Set small deadlines. If you have to memorize War and Peace before next Monday, set small goals and deadlines to get the work done. Don’t try to learn the entire thing at once. Determine how much you have to learn (a lot), how much time you have to learn it (not much), and what other obligations may take up time (eating, sleeping, going to class). Then allocate the workload: 10 pages before dinner, 15 pages by 8pm, 12 more pages by 11pm, review all before bed. By reaching your small deadlines you can be sure you’re on track to get all the work done. (When you are in the workforce you’ll do the same thing and call it Project Management.)

Reward yourself. Figure out what will motivate you and use it as a reward for doing something that is difficult. Did you go for a workout when you really, Really, REALLY didn’t want to go? Treat yourself to a new mascara or a new song for your iPod. Did you outline 10 pages of history when you would rather have poked your eyes out? Take an hour and go for a run. Did you memorize 22 formulas for chemistry? Hmmm, that deserves a big reward…call your mother (could there possibly be a better reward?)!

Most importantly, don’t give up. Remind yourself how important your goal is and keep working toward it. You CAN do it.

Love, Mom

An inscription on the James Farley Post Office in New York City reads:

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

This is not the creed of the USPS as they don’t have one. It is a translation (by Professor George Herbert Palmer of Harvard University) of Herodotus (a Greek dude known for being the correct answer to difficult questions) describing the Persian system of mounted postal carriers ca. 500 B.C.E.

ca. is the abbreviation for circa which is Latin for “about” or “approximately.”

BCE stands for Before the Common Era, which means counting backwards from what we generally refer to as Year 0. One has to wonder how people back then knew to count backwards. Do you think they worried about getting to Year 0 they way we worried about Y2K? Oh, wait. You were a baby then and didn’t care.

But you probably knew all that.

Dear Kid,

High schools, colleges, and countless friends do their best to prepare you for college. As your parents, we’ve spent the last 18 years trying to teach you the things you’ll need for a success life (and the last three months collecting things you’ll need for a successful first semester–still CANNOT believe how much all of that cost).

But, my darling, there are things we left out. Or may have glossed over. Or may have said several thousand times but are worried you didn’t hear.

So just in case you missed these…

1. The point of college is to learn something. Shocking, I know. Please try to find some time to get your homework done.

2. Not all learning takes place in the classroom. You never know where or from whom you will learn something interesting, relevant, or mildly amusing. A Great Sage once told me that nothing you learn is ever wasted. It may not be obvious how you’ll use what you’ve learned, but learning just for the sake of learning is a good thing.

3. Girls tend to prefer boys who do not smell like the bottom the sewer. Doing laundry every now and then is an excellent idea.

4. Kindness is never wasted. Be nice to someone today. Smile. You never know how much someone else needs that smile.

5. The other point of college is to make good friends. If you’re not comfortable telling your mother about your friends, they probably aren’t the people you’re supposed to be friends with.

6. Worrying is only useful up to a point. Think about this time last year: what were you worrying about then? (Besides football.) See what I mean?

7. Proofread. I just read a blurb (an entire three sentences) written by and about someone who describes herself as a tech-savvy writer and was trying to get companies to hire her. Yet there was great big honking grammatical error in the blurb. Yark! Did not inspire me to recommend her. (NOTE: the exception to looking down upon typos and mistooks is when your mother oops-es in this blog.)

8. Be polite. It’s free. But it generates a huge payback. It might even make you feel good.

9. Trust your instincts. You are a good kid. You make good decisions. Trust yourself.

10. We are still (and always) here for you. Seriously. Just because you are Acquiring Higher Education does not mean we stop being your parents. We’re here to help with anything we can. Except finding research sources at 2am–for that, you’re on your own.

Love, Mom