Dear Kid,

It’s that time of year (and by “that time of year” I mean final exams) when alarm clocks take on a whole new meaning.

And of course by “alarm clock” I mean the alarm setting on your phone because who has an alarm clock these days? (Besides me, I mean.)

The rules for alarms change during exam week (which isn’t exactly a week, but whatever).

During most of the year: phone near the bed, the better to text instantly. During exams: phone on the far side of the room to lessen the risk of turning off the alarm and going back to sleep.

During most of the year: alarm volume set on “wake me up.” During exams: alarm volume set on “the world is about to implode so GET UP NOW!”

During most of the year: pretty sure the phone is charged. During exams: double check the level of battery power—16 times before bed.

During most of the year: alarm remains set the same way. During exams: the schedule changes, so the alarm settings must change. Which means you have to check that you set it for AM, not PM. And that you got the time right. And that you turned it on. And that you didn’t accidentally turn it off when you checked to see that you had turned it on.

During most of the year: one alarm is sufficient. During exams: alarms set at 5 minute intervals for at least 40 minutes to ensure that even if you sleep through one, you’ll get up at the next one.

During most of the year: response to alarm going off is (unprintable). During exams: response to alarm going off is Hallelujah! I didn’t miss the final!

Love, Mom