Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as pb&j. It was a sad state for the world, but was especially sad for a plankton named Bobo. Bobo thought he would really like to try peanut butter but he was eaten by a fish named Frederika before he could share his idea with anyone. Frederika cared not at all about sandwiches, peanut butter or otherwise, and the notion was lost for many a year.

Fast forward through the primordial sludge.

One day, Joe Neanderthal neglected to bring home dinner. Mrs. Neanderthal (a female not to be taken lightly) was Displeased seeing as how she’d spent the entire day cleaning the cave (and if you’ve ever tried to clean a dirt cave you know how tiring that can be).

Once she finished expressing her displeasure (which was fairly painful for Joe), Mrs. Neanderthal set about figuring out how to feed her brood. The cupboard was bare-ish (since Joe hadn’t brought home any bear), so Mrs. N reached through time, grabbed George Washington Carver for a quick consult, and proceeded to make lunch (I told you she wasn’t a female to trifle with).

However, Mrs. N was not one to share her culinary secrets and the world had to wait until peanut butter was invented by the Kellogg brothers in 1895.

Peanut butter and jelly was invented around the turn of the century and was the “it” sandwich until Elvis added bananas and subtracted jelly (thereby establishing his reputation as a singing mathematician).

Love, Mom

Dr. GWC didn’t invent peanut butter. He just invented a gazillion other uses for peanuts. Including taking them out the ballgame and the circus.