Some surprises are wonderful. Like a child coming home to visit unexpectedly or finding out that you really like cucumber ice cream.
Other surprises, not so much.
Coming downstairs, early morning, not yet caffeinated, first one awake, to find an upside down glass on the table definitely falls into the “not so much” category.
In our house an upside down glass means one of two things. If the inverted glass is in a cabinet surrounded by its friends and family, it means someone put the glass away upside down. In any other context, it means something with a lot of legs is trapped underneath.
In this case, a spider the size of Montana with an attitude that would make the Hulk blush trapped under a glass that was ON THE KITCHEN TABLE!
Theoretically, I approve of spiders. They eat even nastier bugs. They build beautiful architectural structures which glisten in the sun after a light rain.
All of which should happen outdoors.
Most assuredly, the kitchen is not the same as the outdoors. And did I mention the KITCHEN TABLE part?
I’m not big on company for the first cup of coffee. And I absolutely limit the number of legs a coffee/breakfast companion can have to 4.
And under no circumstances, should a surprise breakfast companion want to rip my head off my body (I could tell that’s what the spider wanted to do).
I’m in favor of the spider trap-and-release program we employ at our house.
NOTE TO THE TRAP AND RELEASE PROGRAM PEOPLE: It’s called “trap and release” because taking the dang bug outside after you catch it is an integral part of the protocol. It was put in place to ensure the safety of the bugs as well as the safety of those trapping the bugs.
Because I am going to kill someone.
P.S. I covered the glass holding the spider with your hat while I had breakfast.