Dear Kid,

Only a few more days left in International Flirting Week, so—if you’re so inclined—it’s time to get your international flirt on.

Pi’s friend Emma was here yesterday.

Pi: They almost bought a goat
Emma: What? Who? What are you talking about?
Me: Let me interpret. By “they” she means Dad and me. By “almost bought” she means never even considered buying. And by “goat” she means she said the word goat.
Emma: Oh, my
Pi: Well, they almost brought home a bunch of puppies
Me: Again, I shall interpret. By “almost brought home” she means saw. And by “puppies” she means rescue dogs.
Pi: You held a puppy
Me: Nope, saw puppies
Pi: Really?
Emma: You are a sassy family! I love it

And I’m pretty sure that by “sassy” she did not exactly mean sassy.

Today is (I kid you not), Love Your Pet Day. This is clearly the winner in the Most Redundant Holiday Ever Contest.

How is every day NOT Love Your Pet Day? And how can anyone even begin to think that their pets don’t know they are loved beyond all reason?

(Do not make me answer those questions or I’ll have to go to a dark place about people who mistreat pets and that seems like a bad idea on Love Your Pet Day.)

If you were to query My Friend The Internet about Love Your Pet Day, you would find lots of people who sell pet things and pet services offering to sell you pet things and pet services on Love Your Pet Day (and all the other days too).

I did not find anything (in my admittedly limited search) for a pet goat. Which is not a problem for us since we don’t have a goat.

To be abundantly clear, in our house every day is Love Your Pet Day. Please do not give the puppy any ideas about extra treats since he is sufficiently spoiled.

Love, Mom