Dear Kid,
Have you ever noticed that we (and by “we” I mean people) tend toward different behavior in different situations?
I don’t mean that you behave differently at a Katy Perry concert than you do at a symphony orchestra concert, or that you behave differently on a job interview than you do at a frat party. I mean that depending on the stresses and stressors in your immediate life, we (again, people) react and behave differently.
For example, when I take the Puppy for his regular vet visit, I’m relaxed and at ease. If I take him to the vet because something is wrong, the stress leads me down Cheeky Lane, suggests a left at Sarcasm Alley, and comes to a screeching halt Smart Ass Road. This trip to Bordering on Rude is not my intent at all and as I hear myself I start apologizing to the medical professionals who I know are just trying to help. They (inevitably) tell me not to worry about it (translation: we’ve seen worse but it would be best if you’d stop talking and let us finish the instructions we’re trying to give you).
Their kindness, my stress, and the fact that 11 seconds have gone by generally leads to another “joke” on my part (and by “joke” I mean an attempt to be funny that falls completely flat) and around we go on the carousel again.
The veterinary professionals have – in point of fact – seen this behavior before (and probably without all the apologies). They see it several many times a day and completely understand the source of the worry that causes it. They understand, they forgive, and they patch up the puppies that don’t bother with commenting on the situation.
We tend to carry our stresses with us, like a bad taco (Happy Cinco de Mayo) into situations where they don’t belong.
When we’re stressed about something at home, we generally can’t leave it there (where it belongs) when we head out to work, or class, or a date. It tags along like an unwanted alien, disrupting our focus and causing us to behave in ways that seem incongruent with the time and place.
Scenario 1
Boss: How is your project going?
Employee (under normal circumstances): Fine thanks.
Boss: Great, let me know if you need anything.
Scenario 2
Boss: How is your project going?
Employee (under serious stress at home): Why are you hounding me!? I said I’d get it done and I’ll get it done! Stop treating me this way.
Boss: Huh?
Other employees: Oooh, we get to see an exorcism!
The next time you see someone behaving in a way that seems out of character, give them a break. See if they are ok, really ok. Listen for things that aren’t said.
And when they get around to apologizing for their behavior, accept the apology and move on.
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