Dear Kid Child,
Your mother is losing her marbles (and let’s face it—she didn’t exactly have a full set to begin with). So I’ve sent her to bed (with the fond hope that she’ll have moved on to some new nonsense by tomorrow) and promised her I would write to you.
She wants to adopt river otters.
I blame her friend the internet.
And Empty Nest Syndrome.
Puppy: What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Dad: It means Mom doesn’t have anyone to take care of.
Puppy (confused): You’re here to take care of.
Puppy (affronted): And I’M here to take care of!
Puppy (genuinely perplexed): And the Dust Dragons are here to take care of.
Puppy: And she still wants river otters?
Dad: No. She just wants to snuggle something baby-like.
Puppy: I’m the baby!
Dad: Confusing, isn’t it?
Puppy: My thinker hurts. I’m going to take a nap.
I understand how he feels. But I also know we are not getting otters.