Dear Kid,

Not everything on the internet is true.

(Shocking, I know. Take a minute to compose yourself if you need to.)

Sometimes there is even conflicting information on the internet. (I’ll wait while you get a cool cloth and lie down for a few moments.)

Let’s take a random example that I just learned about: Bulletproof coffee.

Last week I met a woman who drinks Bulletproof coffee. Well, technically, I’d met her before last week, but it was last week that I found out she drinks Bulletproof coffee. Well, technically, I learned that she drinks coffee with Irish butter made with milk from grass-fed cows. Which I now know is called Bulletproof coffee.

So last week I heard about this for the first time. And a few nights ago I learned that it’s called Bulletproof coffee. And a chiropractor told me that adding butter or coconut oil to coffee is excellent for feeding one’s brain.

I like the idea of brain food. I like the idea of black coffee. I like the idea of investigating things by consulting My Friend the Internet.

It turns out the idea of Bulletproof coffee was invented introduced named by a dude who has done an exceptional job of marketing a recipe. Whether Bulletproof coffee provides incredible brain boosts, stems hunger, and creates unicorns that poop rainbows is still up for debate.

But since I live for science (stop laughing) I decided to do some experimentation to see what I could learn. (Seriously, stop laughing. When “experimentation” = “drink coffee” I’m all in.)

I did not purchase the ridiculous expensive upgraded coffee that the Bulletproof coffee website promotes because A) expensive and B) I didn’t have time to wait for it to ship. So I used my happy K-Cup in my happy coffee maker. Which I’m sure completely invalidates the science of it, but there you go. I’m a mom, not a scientist, so what do I care? I also did not purchase the medium-chain oil (please don’t ask me what that is exactly because I didn’t research that far), nor did I whip the whole thing together in the blender, because First Thing In The Morning. Perhaps I made faux bulletproof coffee. Bullet-resistant coffee?

Day 1 I made coffee and put coconut oil into it. It tasted like coffee. With a very vague hint of coconut but not really.

A few hours later it occurred to me that I should probably not be conducting experiments that involve analyzing the first cup of coffee of the day because I’m barely awake at that point.

Day 2 I made coffee and put Irish butter into it. Tasty, not at all unpleasant, but the butter took my lipstick off. Not the end of the world, but not a beauty booster.

The butter coffee was my second cup of coffee of the day, so I was awake enough to actually taste it.

My conclusion (because experiments, if I recall correctly) are supposed to have conclusions): Bulletproof coffee tastes fine, possibly even better than fine. I did not experience the euphoria the website promised, nor was I free from all hunger and cravings for the next many hours. (Minutes, yes. Hours, no.)

Would I again try bulletproof coffee? Sure. If I can figure out how to do it without calories. And figure out the whole unicorn thing.

Love, Mom