Dear Kid,

As promised, the Olympics have arrived. Ta Dah!

And the Fails continue (so sad). The hotel rooms still aren’t done which is making journalists grumpy. The snowflakes-turning-into-Olympic-rings was something less than it could have been given that one of the rings didn’t open (oops).

Gotta say, much as we love our US athletes (and we do) the costumes were as bad as promised. Worse since they didn’t have professional lighting, an outdated flag, and photoshop. Baggy sweats. Lovely impression to give the world. Ralph, your mother must be so proud.

And there’s the yogurt issue. Chobani wants to send a whole lot (and by “a whole lot” I mean 5,000 cups) of protein-carrying yogurt to the athletes in Sochi. The athletes think that’s a fine idea. The US thinks that’s a fine idea. Customs, the Department of Agriculture, and the entire House of Representatives (probably) think it’s a fine idea. Russia? Not so much.

The yogurt is stuck in Newark, NJ (and so far, no one is blaming Christie) because the Russians say the yogurt doesn’t have the right paperwork. The US says it is impossible to get “the right” paperwork. Russia is sticking with “na na na boo boo” for the moment and the yogurt is staying state-side.

Overall, the Opening Ceremony was Quite A Spectacle with lots of symbolism not all of us understood completely. Yeah, there was a random dog. Yeah, the Russians inadvertently invented a new look to the Olympic rings. Yeah, we didn’t quite get all of it. But that’s the Olympics. And if these are the worst conditions the journalists have had to endure then I say they’ve had some pretty cushy assignments.

So now it’s time to enjoy the competition, root for our favorite athletes, celebrate the world coming together in something other than war, and hope there are no injuries due to falls, crashes, or less than athletic terrorism.

Happy Olympics and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Actually, the Olympics are here since several events started before tonight’s Opening Ceremonies. And by “opening ceremonies” I mean the opening ceremonies of the games since there aren’t going to be opening ceremonies for the nearby hotels. Mostly because the majority of the new hotels didn’t get finished on time. #OlympicFail

To no one’s surprise (except mine—I apparently wasn’t paying attention), it is warmish in Sochi this time of year. Certainly warmer than Cincinnati. This is because Sochi is in the warm part of Russia where they stay warm by sharing toilet space. Weird.

To guard against an early spring (we miss you spring!), Sochi has saved up tons of snow (I kid you not) and kept it nice and cozy under specially made thermal blankets.

The opening ceremonies (featuring the US’s colorful, patriotic, original costumes) will take place at 11am eastern. Since that is not considered to be prime TV time, NBC is delaying the broadcast until 7:30pm which will give me time to go to the gym before deciding whether or not to watch. Nordic combined skier Todd Lodwick will be leading the US delegation. Billie Jean King will not be there because her mother is ill, which is sad on many levels.

Fisht Olympic Stadium, which cost $780 million to build (and in my opinion should be pronounced without vowels), is the venue for the opening ceremonies. With a price tag like that you should be sure to ooh and ahh.

There has been controversy around a new sport, slopestyle snowboarding. The course is quite dangerous (Norwegian medal contender Torstein Horgmo broke a collarbone and withdrew from the games). Officials have made some changes to the course, but not enough for Shawn White who has graciously bowed out of slopestyle to concentrate on the half pipe.

I think there will be controversy around the team figure skating; probably because I am considering starting the controversy. But I have brilliantly decided to wait and see how it goes before committing to objecting to it.

There are 12 new events for this Olympics. Women’s ski jumping debuts (can you say “It’s about time?”). There are also several mixed events including Biathlon mixed relay, figure skating team event, and luge relay. Both men and women will ski the halfpipe (which I think will be cool), ski slopestyle and snowboard slopestyle (which will only be cool if they are safe), and snowboard parallel slalom. Clearly the Olympics ran away and had an affair with the X Games.

Even though NBC is delighting themselves by promising to broadcast Every Moment of Every Event (some of the broadcasting will be on pay-per-Olympics channels), you are not required to watch Every Moment of Every Event. The news media and I are here to keep you posted on the Stuff You Really Need to Know. I’m just That Kind of Mom.

Love,

That Kind of Mom

Dear Kid,

As I believe I may have mentioned, it is cold. And going to get even colder. (O, Joy.)

Note: Yes, it’s the same image as yesterday, but due to a technical yark! not everyone got to see it.

While there are people who love the winter and the cold, I am not one of them. I like one good snow accumulation a year, where you can go outside and appreciate the amazing job Mama Nature has done decorating the trees and come inside and be warm. I do not like sub-zero temperatures and howling winds—especially when I have to Go Places and show up looking more or less presentable.

As I have also mentioned, I am in charge of my own happiness. And while I completely believe in the value of a good kvetch now and then, there are some things (like the weather) I just don’t have any ability to control. Since I can’t control the speed or viciousness of the howling winds, I decided to make a list of The  to try to keep some balance in my perspective.

1. Next summer, when it is 95 degrees and 300% humidity, we can look back on this with fondness regret happiness…ok, we can just look back.
2. No one can complain that “it just isn’t winter without snow.”
3. It’s easy to justify hot chocolate, marshmallows, and brandy (for medicinal purposes only).
4. A roaring fire seems sort of silly when it’s shorts and T-shirt weather.
5. You don’t have to mow the snow.
6. You have a good excuse for hat hair.
7. Snowmen. You just can’t build them in the summer.
8. The winter Olympics.
9. Sweaters, scarves, layers, boots, and my entire winter wardrobe.
10. It’s never too hot to sleep.
11. Snow days.
12. Snuggling.

Stay warm, sweetie.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Merry Christmas and I hope no one you know found coal in their stocking this morning.

There are some people I’ve never met (but whom I have read about) who could probably use some coal as a wake-up reminder. With a note. Maybe “Hey! Pay attention!” or “No more insanity, please” or “It’s time to compromise and get some work done.” Or something like that.

I also hope that the US athletes got an extra helping of speed and strength in their stockings. Yes, I’m already thinking about Sochi. Just in case you weren’t sure, the Winter Olympics (2014) will be held February 7-23. I don’t have tickets, but you can join me (virtually—you still need to go to classes) for the occasional TV viewing.

Which raises a very interesting question. How do you allocate time between classes, studying, and watching the Olympics when you’re at college?

In general, this only happens once during your college career. The summer Olympics shows up (conveniently) during the summer when the majority of college kids are not in school. Other mega sporting happenings are often one-day events (like the Super Bowl and the National Mud Wrestling Championship) so they only eat into your study time for a short window. But the Winter Olympics are An Event and if you let yourself you could easily sacrifice an entire semester to cheering on the downhill skiing hopefuls.

Therefore, Being the Kind of Mother I Am, I want you to know that I shall be providing Insight and Commentary on the Winter Olympics (2014) so that you can easily and quickly get a short summary and not have to sacrifice more than a brief moment of Bio II to keep up with the news. You’re welcome.

To all those celebrating, I wish you a Merry Christmas and Peace and Happiness throughout the Year.

Love, Mom

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