How do you say No Public Restrooms in Bird?

Dear Kid,

In case you missed it, Apple is looking at a new technology. Since that is not a very helpful sentence (seeing as how Apple is ALWAYS looking at new technology), allow me to be more specific. Apple is evaluating/inventing/refining/whatev Gaze Detection Technology. What does this mean? So glad you asked. (You always seem to know just the right thing to say when I’m putting words in your mouth.)

Basically, it means that when you look away from the screen, the computer pauses and waits for your attention to return. Kind of techno-egotistical if you ask me. I can just hear the robot voice, “I AM the center of attention and I can just wait here all day until you’re ready.”

More importantly, it means that when you look up at the ceiling in hope that the answer is magically written there you won’t miss anything important on your laptop.

In the biggest non-event in the technical world, Twitter had some down time on Monday and is now back up and happily running. The “duh” is implied.

There is a new Facebook app that let’s anyone co-sponsor a bill in the House. It’s called Cosponsor.gov and I’m pretty sure I don’t get it.

Did you know that Ben and Jerry’s has Cannoli flavored ice cream? According to their website it is Mascarpone Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Cannoli Pastry Shell Chunks & a Mascarpone Swirl. That may be the most beautiful thing I’ve heard all day.

It seems that one of the adult birds now raising a family in our garage took advantage of my open car window to pretend to be an Indy car racer. Why a bird would choose to sit in a 400 year old Camry rather than going (key word here) outside on a beautiful day is beyond me. But go it did. On the parking brake. I am not amused. I am also not interested in trying to teach a bird to be house broken. Garage broken? Car broken? Anyway, I am posting a No Public Restrooms  sign on my windows.

In other news, we are still waiting to hear the results of Pi’s soccer non-tryouts. She did well at the Tryouts Part I but was injured for Part II (I swear the only thing holding that child together is duct tape and will power), so we’ll have to see what the coaches do with her. Stay tuned.

Also, she’s leaving for camp on Tuesday, so now would be a Most Excellent Time to write her an actual letter so that it gets to her in the first couple of days. This reminder has been brought to you by your mother.

Love, Mom

This is not our garage door. You can tell because it is so flippin’ clean. On the other hand it is slightly open the way ours is.

Dear Kid,

Apparently, baby birds are the theme of the season. A bird built a nest in a plastic bag in our garage (which does not say much for the parent birds’ real estate hunting abilities) and we now have babies.

The good news is that they all appear to be staying in their nest, giving feeding and babysitting duties to the mama and papa birds and leaving me the heck out of it.

Except not entirely out of it. We have decided that it is one thing to lock the birds in (and all bird-eating critters out) during the night. But when we leave the house during the day, we are leaving the garage door open a good 8 ¾ inches to allow the parents to fly in and out bringing masticated worms and other goodies to the chirpies. (So maybe it is a brilliant avian real estate move.) I am now having to master an entirely new form of garage door closing (or almost closing) while we wait for the babies to graduate flight school and move out of their college apartment.

Speaking of graduation, in a tribute to Idiots in America, a fight broke out in Cleveland at a kindergarten graduation. Kindergarten. Over spilled punch. Just to be clear, it wasn’t the kindergarteners fighting, it was parents and “juvies.” The graduates must have been so proud of their families.

Sorry your folks aren’t crazy enough to make the national news fighting over juice.

Love, Mom