Dear Kid,

So there we were, sitting at the table last night when you leaned over to whisper in my ear about biting your thumb at whatever was going on.

This was Most Excellent for a number of reasons.

First (and most importantly) it meant that you were close enough to whisper in my ear, which means YOU’RE HOME! This is a Wonderful State of the World.

Secondly, it meant that you remember some Shakespeare which means you are Retaining Education! This is much more impressive and much more difficult than retaining water. Or being a retaining wall. But generally less lucrative than being on retainer and possibly more comfortable than wearing a retainer.

Gotta love those four cups of wine (thank you JJ for bringing the wine) and writing at 1am.

Although you’re a college student. Writing at 1am is pretty much required when you’re in school, isn’t it?

The point I am wandering around (for 40 years in very dry writing) to make is: We are delighted you’re home for the weekend

And

Coincidentally, today is the anniversary of Shakespeare’s death. Google even doodled about it.

Coffee. I need more coffee.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is Draw a Bird Day.

I don’t know why, but it is.

Rodney the Bird Outside Our Window offered to pose for a picture, but between my (lack of) artistic talent and his demoralized attitude, I decided it might not be a good experience for him.

The most famous of all bird-drawers is probably John James Audubon (shown in a photo on Wikipedia holding a rifle which is probably not how most people think of him). JJ went out into Nature to identify and paint birds so that he could have a society named after him.

My second favorite bird drawer is probably Charley Harper (first favorite is you when you were about 4 and drew me a picture that had a bird in it). Charley Harper went into Nature wearing a pair of 5D glasses and drew what he saw. He lived in Cincinnati which is another thing that’s good about Our City.

Still up there in the Excellent Bird Drawing category is the little guy from Are You My Mother?

And all the birds Dr. Seuss drew (none of which were ever spotted by John James A.).

Despite my best efforts to learn absolutely nothing about birds (what can I say? I was a rebellious twit), I love watching avian life in our backyard. I filled the birdfeeders over the weekend and the cardinal (significantly more dimensional than Charley’s version), the woodpeckers, flickers, chickadees, and other flying folk are having a marvelous time filling up at the buffet. The chipmunk family (did I tell you a family of chipmunks has moved in?) and squirrels are happily picking up whatever falls uneaten, and the rabbit is barreling through like he owns the place, checking on tables but not eating anything himself.

Spring is here.

Happy Draw a Bird Day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s April!

Which of course means

• Showers
• Income Tax Day
• Baseball
• Patriots’ Day
• Earth Day
• April Fool’s Day

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson

The best April Fool’s prank this year (at least that I heard about) was the Burger King commercial (in France) advertising the single French fry serving. See the video here.

In other awesome celebration news, today is Children’s Book Day and National Peanut Butter & Jelly Day.

I suggest celebrating simultaneously, but that’s probably just my crazy sense of style.

I don’t think anyone has scientifically proven that PB&J is one of the Perfect Foods, but I think it has to be in the top 10. Or maybe top 100.

I love children’s books. Children’s books are meant to be read out loud. They are meant to be read with someone snuggling next to you or sitting in your lap. They are not really meant for reading to oneself, but I say Break With Tradition! It’s a holiday! Go crazy and read a children’s book to yourself.

Or at least think about one fondly while nibbling a PB&J sandwich.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Welcome to Spring.

Ha.

Yesterday in Pittsburgh I wore a T-shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a wool sweater, and my down jacket. And my Serious Mittens to clear the ice and snow off the car.

Ice. And. Snow.

Which part of spring includes ice and snow?

Which part of spring includes 42 layers of clothing?

Which part of spring includes snowboots and scarves and mittens?

Of course today is going to be about 112 degrees. Which makes no sense either.

Dear Mother Nature,

A little common sense would be helpful.

Meanwhile, the crocuses have bloomed, the hyacinth are flowering, the tulips are exploring moving in to a condominium, and the little purple flowers that I can’t remember the name of are singing tra-la! (except for the one that have been eaten by the rabbits).

All of which means that Spring is here (tra-la) and sunshine can’t be far behind.

Hoping you have a happy (and warmish) day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I remember reading somewhere that people spend their childhood trying to grow up to get to their 21^st birthday and the rest of their lives trying to get back to being 21. It was probably said better than that, but you get the idea.

Some people consider 21 the age a person becomes an adult. You can vote—oh, wait, you can do that at 18. You can join the military—no, that’s 18 too. You can sign legal documents—again, 18.

I know. It must be that you can no longer be covered on our medical insurance—nope, that’s 26. It’s probably that you can no longer call me “mommy”—nah, that’s a forever title.

So what’s the big deal about 21? Oh, right. Alcohol.

I remember the joy and pride of being able to order an adult beverage with the certainty that your ID is legit and you can legally purchase whatever you want. Although—trust me on this one—it’s even better to be carded when you’re 35.

I also remember the joy and pride (not) of my first Really Great Hangover which I will not tell you about (except to say it was in close proximity to my 21^st birthday and I hope you are smart enough never to enjoy that experience).

At 21 you are also old enough to gamble, buy a gun, and get a concealed carry permit. Try not to mix any or all of the above.

So what’s so special about being 21? Check the mirror. You’re the Special.

Happy 21^st, kiddo.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You are not going to believe what today is.

Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day! (Seriously.)

I took a highly scientific poll to find out what people thought their pets would do if they had thumbs.

The top responses I made up were

• Huh?
• I don’t know, maybe suck his thumb?
• Where would a snake put a thumb?
• Text, no question.
• Serve herself more food. All day long.
• Where do you come up with these things?

I asked the Puppy what he would do if he had thumbs. He stared at me for a minute, wagged his happy tail, and licked my feet. I thought he showed great restraint in not answering the question.

Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day. (Feel free to enjoy your own thumbs today too.)

Love, Mom