Me: There’s what?
Me: In the Ohio River?
Dad: It’s methane.
Me: There’s methane in the river?
Me: Are the fish gassy?
Me: Fish eating rice and beans?
Dad: Um, no.
Me: Cows are in the Ohio River?
Dad: Definitely no.
Me: It’s the fish.
Dad: It’s not the fish.
Me: Everybody knows fish blow bubbles. Just ask any kid to draw a fish. There will be bubbles.
Dad: That’s carbon dioxide. It’s not the fish.
Me: So, what’s your theory?
Dad: According to the internet, there are fault lines along the river and they are leaking methane.
Me: That sounds like the basis for a superhero movie.
Me: Fault lines, leaking methane, Superman has to swoop in and plug the leaks!
Dad: You’re weird.
Dad: Also, there are bacteria in the silt at the bottom of the river that release methane.
Me: Why don’t they release carbon dioxide?
Dad: Because that’s not the way it works.
Me: Now you’re just being ridiculous.
Dad: Seriously? You just called me ridiculous?
Me: Weird, huh?