Dear Kid,

As I was driving home last night, I was listening to NPR, and they managed to completely BLOW MY MIND. Messy.

Add up all the dogs and cats and hamsters in the world. There are more chickens in the world than that. Add in all the rats in the world. Still more chickens.

Then they went on to talk about how the Super Chicken (ta-da!) was created in the last century and how a single chicken’s parts can end up shipped all over the world, but by then I was home and didn’t hear the rest of the story.

So in honor of the mighty chicken (and the mightier chicken soup), I bring you a collection of chicken crossing the road jokes. (You may thank MFTI. I did not make these up, although I wish I had.)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Albert Einstein: The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Timothy Leary: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Bill Gates: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken ’98 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Love, Mom

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