Dear Kid,

We have a moth outside our window.

That’s a bit of an understatement.

It’s a moth the way King Kong was a monkey.

Technically accurate but completely misses the point.

The moth is about the size of Montana. (Yes, the entire state.)

I haven’t actually seen the moth, but I can hear him throwing himself bodily against our screen.

It is a rather intimidating sound.

According to My Friend the Internet, there are approximately 160,000 species of moth many of which have yet to be discovered and all of which are incredibly ugly in their close-up mug shots.

I can’t imagine what a moth would want in our house. Many types of adult moths don’t eat (did you know that? I didn’t until MFtI told me), so they aren’t even stopping by for an unexpected dinner invitation.

Weird Fact: Male moths can smell female moths over 7 miles away. At least some species. None remember to bring home extra milk.

Weirder Fact: No one has invented soap for moths.

Weirdest Fact: There are no female moths inside our house (at least none that I’m aware of) so I still can’t explain why Iron Moth is so determined to smash through our window.

Enjoy National Moth Week July 23-30, 2016. Or not.

Personally, I’m considering calling the National Guard.

Love, Mom