Dear Kid,

Sleep is important. Hence the mama mantra of “Turn off the tv and Go. To. Sleep.” Seems everyone is talking about it. And by everyone, I mean me and Alltop which has a new infographic on the subject of college sleep cycles. Link provided for your viewing pleasure, but the infographic doesn’t really say all that much we didn’t already know.

More importantly, Alltop leaves off the real reasons you need to sleep in college. Since I hate for you to have significant knowledge deficiencies, I have (thoughtfully) provided the Top 5 Reasons for sleeping at college.

Without Enough Sleep:

1. You can die. I know this because I watch House and they were concerned about someone dying from lack of shut eye.

As a group, 18- to 24-year-olds deprived of sleep suffer more from impaired performance than older adults.

2. You might fall asleep in class. Not only can falling asleep in class negatively impact your grade, someone might take the opportunity to draw on your cheek and then you’d have to spend time washing it off. Time which would be better spent sleeping.

Teenagers need as much sleep as small children (about 10 hrs) while those over 65 need the least of all (about six hours). For the average adult aged 25-55, eight hours is considered optimal.

3. You might miss True Love. (Stick with me here.) If you don’t get enough sleep, you will get cranky. If you get cranky, you might be rude to your True Love when you accidentally bump into her. True Love scowls and leaves.

Seventeen hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol-level of 0.05%.

4. You don’t dream. You only get to dream when your asleep. Dreams are fun and funky and great for discussing over breakfast. If you are the type to get up and discuss things over breakfast.

Elephants sleep standing up during non-REM sleep, but lie down for REM sleep.

5. You look sleep deprived. You look significantly better when you are well rested. Dark circles under bleary eyes is not a good look for anyone. Dull skin and blood-shot eyes are a definite Fashion Don’t. I know this because there is not a single cosmetic company advocating charcoal smears as an under-eye solution.

Nighty-night, kiddo.

Love, Mom