Dear Kid,

Once upon a time Joe Neanderthal went out to visit his friends. While he was out, all 17 Neanderthal children got sick (having eaten too much undercooked mammoth) and the fire went out while Mrs. Neanderthal was tending to them. Mrs. Neanderthal was tired and cold and wanted Joe to come home.

Not having a handy saber tooth tiger around to deliver the message, she went to the mouth of their cave and yelled for Joe. Mrs. Neanderthal had quite a set of lungs and Joe heard her, but Joe was having a good time and didn’t really want to deal with 17 sick kids. So Joe unwisely ignored her.

Not being an idiot, Mrs. Neanderthal wished she had a way to communicate more closely with Joe and almost invented the cell phone. But before she could get around to inventing, she realized she could just march over and yell at Joe in person. Which she did—to great effect and the amusement of Joe’s buddies. Since this is a family blog, I can’t repeat exactly what was said, but Mrs. N got a lovely mammoth coat and Joe spent a lot of time babysitting.

Because Mrs. Joe didn’t get around to inventing the cell phone, the world had to wait a long, long time for a mobile personal communication device.

In the early 1900s, several cartoonists used wireless phones as subject matter. During the 1940s, the military used radio-telephony links. Many people wrote about personal communication devices (think shoe phone from Get Smart) and eventually the car phone was invented.

In 1973 Motorola made the first handheld mobile phone. It was about 1,000 pounds (1.1 kg) and most assuredly did not fit in anyone’s pocket. (Except perhaps for Kanga’s, but since Roo was still in there, she wasn’t offering to try.)

Fast forward to now when children are issued cell phones at birth and upgrade to smart phones before Kindergarten. The world, she has changed.

Now you know.

Love, Mom