Dear Kid,

The thing about cats is that they know they’re in charge.

Whether they’re eating lasagna or refusing to eat anything, cats are quite sure they rule the world. Today the world, tomorrow the galaxy.

Where cats can be cats. And be admired. And obeyed. As it should be. DearKidLoveMom.comOr possibly, today the laser dot, tomorrow the laser dot.

Today I will snub the food, tomorrow I will snub the food. And then bat your nose while you’re sleeping.

Today, the litter box. Tomorrow I will inexplicably pee on your pillow.

Today I will chase a play mouse all over the house. Tomorrow I will sleep all day.

Today I will let you cuddle with me. Tomorrow I will chew your fingers off if you touch me.

Today I will let you serve me every whim. Tomorrow I will let you serve my every whim.

And if you think I’m saying thank you, you’d best think again.

Love, Mom