Dear Kid,

According to National Safety Council, the odds of dying from a bee (or hornet or wasp) sting are 1 in 64,706.

According to the Certainty of Mom, the odds of me freaking out when a bee (or hornet or wasp) appears in our home are DUH!

For reasons that escape me entirely, wasps like visiting our back porch during the spring. Apparently, they like it so much some of them have decided to take the fall tour as well.

You will not be surprised to learn that I have not volunteered as tour guide. Nor have I laid out the welcome mat.

Instead, I escape the porch as quickly as possible, close the door with an elegant and ladylike slam, and with delicate, dulcet tones bellow for your father to Do Something!!!

Sometimes he does. More frequently he says something totally ludicrous like, “Where? I don’t see any wasps.” Or “You can take care of the wasp yourself.”

Yeah, right. As if.

I think the National Safety Council should spend less time counting bee stings and more time figuring out how to keep our porch insect-free.

Love, Mom