Dear Kid,

Yesterday I told you about how we bought our first refrigerator. Today, the saga continues.

How to Buy a Refrigerator if You’re Me

• Drive to store
• Point at refrigerator
• Say “that one” and hand over a credit card

Not perhaps the best way to buy a major appliance, but certainly an expedient method.

How to Buy a Refrigerator if You’re Dad

• Consider
• Research
• Measure
• Reflect
• Postpone
• Repeat endlessly

Not the most expedient method, but a well-researched one.

How the Refrigerator Buying Process Actually Happened

Me: You are in charge of buying the refrigerator
Dad: Let’s discuss what you want
Me: I want it to be white, I want it to fit in the space, and I want you to be happy. Beyond that I don’t care.
Dad: Well, what about…
Me: Nope, seriously, don’t care. Don’t want to be involved, don’t want to think about it, don’t want to research or discuss. Just want a new ‘frig installed.

I thought this was the ideal solution. Let Dad investigate on his own and ta-da! new appliance. It should have been easy (for me). It wasn’t.

We had lots of “discussions” that went like this.

Dad: Let’s sit down and look at what I’ve found about refrigerators.
Me: Is there something specific you want me to look at?
Dad: Yes!
Me: OK. (I look.) It’s a refrigerator.
Dad: But this one is 1 inch bigger than what we have.
Me: Don’t care. Leaving now.

You and Pi tried to be Most Helpful at dinner the other night when Dad brought up the topic.

Dad: We can talk about refrigerators tonight.
You: Dad, let me save you some time and heartache. She doesn’t care. She wants you to take care of buying a refrigerator.
Dad: But
Pi: There are three things Mom wants. She wants it to fit, she wants it to be white, and – there was a third thing, right? I think there was a third thing. What was the third thing?
Me: For him to be happy.
Pi: Right. For you to be happy. That’s it. Those three things. Other than that, she just doesn’t care.
Dad: But
You: Dad, she really doesn’t care. Buy a refrigerator
Dad: But…

I really appreciate your attempt to help. It didn’t work, but I appreciate the attempt.

Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for work, Dad started again.

Dad: So about the refrigerator
Me: Don’t care
Dad: The one I’m looking at doesn’t have the little cover on the top shelf of the door
Me: OK
Dad: Does that matter?
Me: Don’t care
Dad: Come take a look at this one
Me: Why?
Dad: It has some black on it.
Me: So I see. Don’t care
Dad: What about trading the ice dispenser for more freezer storage?
Me: Don’t care
Dad: Ooooo-kay. What about the cover on the shelf for the milk?
Me: Don’t care
Dad: What about 3 bins versus the 2 we currently have
Me: Don’t care

And so on.

By the time I got home, he still hadn’t ordered a ‘frig.

“I’ll probably do it tonight,” said Dad.
“That’s what you said two nights ago,” Pi piped in helpfully.

At this rate, we should have a new refrigerator soon. By which I mean by Christmas.

If it takes that long, I will care.

Love, Mom