Posts Tagged "zebra"

Another First for Women | Sarah Thomas and the NFL

Dear Kid,

Hopefully, you’ve done a better job of keeping up with the Important News of the Day than I have, but just in case you also missed the announcement, there is BIG NEWS and her name is Sarah Thomas.

The NFL has hired her as its first female full time official.

If you are thinking “Woo Hoo”, you are right.

If you are thinking “It’s about freakin’ time”, you are right.

If you are thinking “It’s too bad this has to be a big deal”, you are right.

If you are thinking “How come this isn’t a bigger deal?”, you are right.

If you are thinking “How does she get all her hair hidden under her cap?”, I have no idea.

If you are thinking “Coffee”, you are right because she drinks a cup of hot coffee before every game no matter what the temperature is.

If you are thinking “I thought the Universe smiled on September 13, 2015”, you’re right because that was the day she made her NFL regular season debut.

If you are thinking “Have I heard her name before?”, the answer is maybe.

Sarah Thomas was the first woman to officiate a major college football game, the first woman to officiate a bowl game, and the first woman to officiate in a Big Ten game. Which makes her a big deal. A bigger deal than the general media (which has largely ignored the story) has led us to believe.

If you are thinking “So the answer is 53?”, you are right because that is her officiating uniform number. Watch for it, because she will doubtless reach other firsts for women.

And I still want to know how she gets all her hair hidden.

Love, Mom

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Mom Thoughts on Professional Football

Dear Kid,

I’ve been thinking about football. Yes, I watched a fair amount of football yesterday. And woot! woot! to the Cincinnati Bengals who showed up in a big way.

Throwback uniforms. I get that the authentic (or replica) uniforms are a huge hit with merchandisers and people who make throwback uniforms, but (imho) many of them are a Huge Fashion Mistake. Think about it: it’s why the team doesn’t wear them anymore.

Quarterbacks. I usually think about kickers, but the High School season is over. What do quarterbacks do if they lose their voice? It’s one of the few (only?) positions in sport where vocalization is beyond critical. I’m concerned about this.

Coffee. Who makes coffee for the coaches during the game? I saw one of the coaches drinking a warm beverage from a cup (not an insulated container). How do they keep the coffee warm? And is it studly enough to drink hot chocolate if you don’t like coffee.

Weather. What happens if there is a snow advisory that shuts all the roads down during the game? Do they let the players leave the stadium? Or are they trapped there with The Other Team and Fans of The Other Team? Not to mention being trapped with all the post-game football funk. I wonder if this has ever happened.

Speaking of Personal Hygiene, what happens if a player breaks a nail during a game? Do they have an emergency manicurist on hand? And what is with some of these hairdos? Polamalu, yes. Everybody else, no. Somebody send coupons for Sports Clips. If someone accidentally pulls your hair, it’s your own fault. (For the record, I am highly biased in this particular instance. Girls can have long hair and have the right not to get it pulled. Professional football players [except Polamalu who has great hair and an equally great name] do not.)

Officials. Professional league officials are amazing. It is ridiculous how often they make the right call. And by “the right call” I mean the correct call as supported by video replay.

Also, I totally don’t get the fuzzy dudes for the Cricket commercials.

Love, Mom

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7 Important Facts About Zebras and 1 Striped Reminder

Dear Kid,

When was the last time you thought about zebras? (Not the referee kind, the related-to-horses kind.) I’m guessing not recently. Zebras are good creatures. (Zebra print is also a great trend, but that’s not what we’re talking about today.)

So, being the kind of mother I am, I thought I’d tell you a little about zebras.Zebra: Seriously Mom, how could you name me Spot? DearKidLoveMom.com

  1. Zebras don’t make good house pets.

You might think they’d be handy to keep in your room as a friend, but you’d be wrong. Zebras are not tiny animals. They don’t eat tiny amounts. Hence, the other end of the digestive process is neither petite nor perfumed.

  1. Zebras are highly social.

They hang out in groups, like fraternity members only there are more of them. Like fraternity members, they will only go to sleep if there are friends nearby to set up an alarm if a predator is close. Also like fraternity members, they prefer to graze together. No word on whether they like fart jokes, but I’m sure they appreciate a good chemistry joke once in a while.

  1. Zebra stripes are unique.

Zebra stripes (like human fingerprints) are unique to each individual animal. Zebra watchers often identify zebras by the stripes on their tushies. While zebra stripes might to make a person wearing them stand out at a cocktail party, when in a massive herd zebras’ stripes and coloring makes it difficult for lions (and other predators) to tell where one zebra ends and another begins.

  1. Zebras are family-oriented.

Just not your family (because you’re not a zebra). Zebra mamas are very caring and protective of their foals and are known to check on them well after they’ve graduated from college. Zebra kids find this kind and reassuring and do not fuss at their loving parents.

  1. Zebras are zippy.

Zebras can run over 40 miles per hour. They also have excellent stamina and the ability to cut across the field. They are often recruited for football teams.

  1. Zebras are communicative.

They get their point across by sniffing, balking, braying, barking, snorting, changing the position of their tail and ears, and rolling their eyes at their parents.

  1. Zebras are brave.

The head of the herd generally stays at the back to defend against predators. If a zebra is injured, the rest of the herd will circle around it, dancing the hora to keep away the predator and give the injured animal time to rest and recuperate. While there are several high schools with the zebra as their mascot, I am not aware of any zebra college mascots.

Don’t forget to text your sister.

Love, Mom

 

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