Dear Kid,

It is Monday.

Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish. ~Author Unknown

And somehow (as you probably know) Monday mornings arrive earlier than mornings any other day of the week.

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. ~Stephanie Piro

I don’t know why Mondays insist on being early.

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running. ~Jeff Bezos

I practically leap out of bed at the same time on weekends and feel like I’ve wasted half the day. Some weekend days it’s the same time.

And occasionally I leap. But not very often.

Herbal tea tastes so much better when it’s coffee. ~Author Unknown

The point is Mondays arrive on their own slightly sadistic schedule. Without the possibility of turning over and going back to sleep for a few hours.

Déjà Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before. ~Author Unknown

I really must teach the Dust Dragons to brew coffee. At least the first cup of the day. If they’re going to live here, they really should earn their keep. Mostly it seems they’re lazier than I am.

Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning. ~Author Unknown

Meanwhile, I have a date with a K-cup.

Happy Monday.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s April 30^th.

Which means it’s National Hairstyle Appreciation Day. And National Honesty Day. And rainy and humid.

Which means if we’re really going to “honor” today, we’d have to go around telling people how much we love their horrible hairdo.

Personally, I suggest skipping the talking and moving straight to the balloons and cookies.

There are balloons and cookies aren’t there?

If you’re feeling excessively festive, we can throw in a quick salute to National Karaoke Week and National Welder’s Month.

In other celebratory news, do you know what happens when you overfill the single-serve coffee maker? Yep. You have the wonderful opportunity of cleaning up the kitchen counter. In completely unrelated news, our kitchen counters are looking exceptionally clean at the moment.

Have a great day, kiddo. Try to stay dry in all the rain and drizzle and try not to give yourself unplanned reasons to clean.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Well, the To Do is still staring me in the face and the elves haven’t shown up to help get any of the work done. One of these days I am going to find good, hardworking, loyal elves and I will have a clean house and finished tasks. Until then, I have a house and unfinished tasks.

Dad and I spent part of this morning cleaning in the kitchen. Yesterday, he and I went to a home remodeling show where we saw lots of things we like and pretty much nothing we can afford. Shocker, I know. We decided cleaning the kitchen would be an excellent place to start. We managed to get the center island clean and the dishes in the sink dealt with before we lost steam and interest.

The good news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is annoyed with the other about not cleaning any more.

The bad news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is still cleaning even though there is a great deal more to do.

Sigh.

I’m giving away a giant hug to anyone who can teach me how to make perfect medium boiled eggs—every time. I keep having the problem of the white sticking to the shell so that I end up with only half an egg. Life is tough.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

The Thanksgiving weekend is officially ending today. Which is good, because even while we enjoyed every minute of visiting and eating (and eating and eating) we (the collective we) need time to slim back down before the next holiday feast arrives. Which it will. Sooner than my waist will be ready.

Unofficially of course the weekend continues. The shopping, the football, the leftovers (well, not so much in the way of leftovers), the shopping, the traveling, and did I mention the shopping?

Tomorrow is Cyber Monday, but many retailers are offering online deals starting tonight. You should ignore all of them because you are a college student and therefore you should be A) studying and B) hoarding your pennies to pay for things like food.

Some of us have eaten enough wonderful food in the last several days to last us a while. You, however, are a metabolic machine and need to be fed on a regular basis. By not shopping online you can stretch your budget further (more about that tomorrow from our special guest blogger) and avoid all the malware that is expected to hit the web tomorrow.

It’s been wonderful having a few days to spend with you. You are a Most Wonderful Child Adult Child and it is always good to have time to visit.

Love, Mom