Dear Kid,

Most of my friends are a little crazy. Generally they are crazy in a good sort of way, so we have reciprocal wackiness.

You know, just a little on the What? side of things.

But every now and then, one of them will cross over into true Have You Lost Your Mind?

One of my friends went to Are You Insane Land this weekend.

A while ago, she tried to get me to participate in a 5K with her. Since I was pretty sure the “K” didn’t stand for kayaking or knitting, I decided to pass lest the K stand for “killing me, here.”

Yesterday, this same friend sent me the following message—on my beloved Fitbit: “Contemplating Half Pig on May 1. Interested in the challenge?”

To be clear, she did not mean eating half a pig, but rather participating in the Flying Pig Half Marathon which is like a marathon only the ambulances are closer to the starting line.

Of course I was interested. Interested in how she thought that someone who walks about 5 miles (total) on a REALLY active day might be able to perambulate that far. All at once. Without falling so far behind that the race ended days before I get to the finish line.

My response to her—not on my beloved Fitbit since I don’t want to offend it: “When did they start allowing bicycles in the Pig?”

So far no response. But to be fair, I only sent the message a few minutes from now. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

I’ll keep you posted.

From the comfort of my 10,000 steps per day goal.

Love, Mom

P.S. Who did you share DearKidLoveMom.com with today? Well, what are you waiting for?

Dear Kid,

Today is – wait for it – Take Your Pants for a Walk Day.

Yep, there is a Day for taking your Pants for a Walk, and it’s July 27^th.

This is (of course) ridiculous.

Because it is about a thousand degrees outside today. So people who are going for walks are (mostly) wearing shorts.

Also, this could be seen as discrimination against skirts.

But the point is, how does one actually take pants for a walk? When we take the Puppy for a walk there is a leash involved. Do you have to put a leash (or at least a belt) on your pants? Or can you assume they’ll just go with you?

Do you have to be wearing the pants? Are you supposed to take ALL of your pants at once? Or do you take them sequentially? Or is taking one pair of pants symbolically sufficient?

There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

The e-card business is all kinds of excited about celebrating Take Your Pants for a Walk Day. But I’m not sure who you’re supposed to send the cards to exactly. Maybe I have stupid pants, because none of them know how to read. And they’d have to borrow my computer to read an e-card, so that seems a little silly.

Bottom line: Take yourself for a walk, because why not? If you want to take your pants with you, have a good time. If you want to leave your pants at home, that’s fine as long as you find another way to cover all the important bits.

Happy Take Your Pants for a Walk Day.

Love, Mom