Posts Tagged "walk"

News from the Neighborhood 7:03am

Dear Kid,

While most of the neighborhood was still sleeping, the Puppy and I went for a walk this morning.

You may ask, “What the heck were you doing up at an hour when everyone was sleeping?” Good question since I’d told Dad he couldn’t wake me until 9am (which I thought was a Very Generous Compromise).

The answer is I have no freakin’ idea.

My eyelids sprang open of their own accord this morning. I tried to close them; they refused. I tried to go back to sleep with my eyes open; it didn’t really work.

So I got up.

This pleased the Puppy greatly and we agreed that—after a cuddle—we should go for our morning meander.

The big white dog who rules his side of the fence with an iron bark was still inside (and presumably asleep because we didn’t hear him).

Cobra’s family was up (we could tell because the garage door was open) but even after several minutes of puppy whining Cobra himself was nowhere to be seen.

Roxie’s family was getting ready for another garage sale. They’ve been helping a woman they know clean out her house after her husband died. Roxie’s dad says he feels like he’s in a TV commercial. Every time he thinks he’s done, the woman calls and says, “But wait, there’s more!” and gives him enough stuff for 7 more garage sales. I think he’s truly happy to help but truly done with garage-sale-ness. Roxie was inside, so the Puppy settled for sniffing everything within leash range and graciously allowing (and by “allowing” I mean insisting) that people scratch him.

The big activity this morning is that we are going to have a Vexit. That is, the vine (I'm guessing poison oak) that has now caused poison-ivy-like welts on my face for two summers in a row is being evicted. Well, murdered is more like it. We plan to spray it so it dies down to its roots. DearKidLoveMom.comThe big activity this morning is that we are going to have a Vexit. That is, the vine (I’m guessing poison oak) that has now caused poison-ivy-like welts on my face for two summers in a row is being evicted. Well, murdered is more like it. We plan to spray it so it dies down to its roots. (And as I say “we” and not “me” you are correct to infer that your father is actually helping to spray something dead. Shocking but true. I think it has something to do with the threats I made and the constant whining about the itch. And perhaps looking at a wife with face-bumps.)

Hope you have a great day today!

Love, Mom

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It’s Take Your Pants for a Walk Day (Yes, Really — Here’s What You Need to Know)

Dear Kid,

Take Your Pants for a Walk Day. DearKidLoveMom.comToday is – wait for it – Take Your Pants for a Walk Day.

Yep, there is a Day for taking your Pants for a Walk, and it’s July 27th.

This is (of course) ridiculous.

Because it is about a thousand degrees outside today. So people who are going for walks are (mostly) wearing shorts.

Also, this could be seen as discrimination against skirts.

But the point is, how does one actually take pants for a walk? When we take the Puppy for a walk there is a leash involved. Do you have to put a leash (or at least a belt) on your pants? Or can you assume they’ll just go with you?

Do you have to be wearing the pants? Are you supposed to take ALL of your pants at once? Or do you take them sequentially? Or is taking one pair of pants symbolically sufficient?

There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

The e-card business is all kinds of excited about celebrating Take Your Pants for a Walk Day. But I’m not sure who you’re supposed to send the cards to exactly. Maybe I have stupid pants, because none of them know how to read. And they’d have to borrow my computer to read an e-card, so that seems a little silly.

Bottom line: Take yourself for a walk, because why not? If you want to take your pants with you, have a good time. If you want to leave your pants at home, that’s fine as long as you find another way to cover all the important bits.

Happy Take Your Pants for a Walk Day.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Conversations | Walking in Sharon Woods Park

Dear Kid,

We (Pi, the Puppy, and moi) had a lovely 2 mile walk in Sharon Woods Park yesterday. Parts of our time there were less walk-like than others.

Me: Keep moving, Puppy
Pi: He found something very interesting to sniff
Puppy: Busy
Me: Walking
Pi: Mom, it’s a very interesting blade of grass
Puppy: Busy
Me: This is supposed to be a walk, not a sniff
Puppy: Still busy

Pi: Let’s take him into the field and play
Me: Sure
Puppy: We’re leaving the path, this is exciting!
Pi: Look Puppy, I have a ball
Puppy: Hey, there’s an interesting blade of grass here!
Pi: Fetch (throws the ball)
Puppy: Look, there are people over there (runs toward the people)
Pi: No, you nut case, fetch the ball!
Puppy: Why?
Pi: I have treats
Puppy: I love treats! Coming!!
Pi: Bring the ball, you silly thing
Puppy: Want treats!!
Pi: The ball, go fetch
Me: (walking over to the ball) Look Puppy, here’s the ball!
Puppy: Huh? Just want treats!!
Me: Come here
Puppy: Do you have treats?
Pi: Bring me the ball
Puppy: This is a stupid way to get treats

Me: Come here, baby. Good boy, pick up the ball
Puppy: Really?
Me: Pick up the ball
Puppy: This is totally ridiculous
Me: Take
Puppy: Want a treat!
Pi: I don’t really think he wants to play
Me: You think?
Puppy: Treat!
Pi: Here you go
Puppy: Love treats!!! More!!
Pi: Ok, here’s another one
Puppy: Yummy!
Pi: I don’t think he’s very smart
Me: I think he taught you to give him treats for no reason. Seems pretty smart to me

Puppy: I love walks
Me: I’m really glad
Puppy: Gotta poop
Me: This is the third time you’ve pooped just on this walk
Puppy: It’s important

Puppy: Gotta pee
Me: You have nothing left inside your body to come out. There is nothing in there. You’ve pooped three times and peed fifty times
Lady Walking By: He’s not really here if he doesn’t leave a reminder (She is laughing her head off while she says this)
Me: Walk!
Pi: It’s hard to squeeze nothing out
Me: Walk!
Puppy: Busy
Pi: Oh look, there are ducks! Look Puppy, ducks!
Puppy: So?
Pi: Play with the ducks
Me: Keep him away from the geese
Geese: Hissssssssss
Pi: I don’t think geese like dogs
Me: What on earth made you think that?
Pi: I want him to play with the ducks
Me: You can want that all you like, but neither the Puppy nor the ducks seem interested
Puppy: Look how nicely I’m walking
Me: Now you walk nicely
Puppy: Yes, very nicely. Would you like to give me a treat?
Me: No, but thank you for offering
Pi: Look Puppy, ducks
Puppy: Yep, those are ducks. Not really interested
Pi: How can you not be interested? They are ducks!
Me: Look at the baby ducks! They are so cute
Puppy: I’m cute!
Me: The baby ducks are soooo cute
Puppy: You should probably give me a treat

Wish you’d been here to enjoy the walk with us.

Love, Mom

Who do you know who would enjoy Puppy Conversations? Share the love

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