Dear Kid,

Today is National Armed Forces Day. (It’s also National Waiters and Waitresses Day which I suppose in some instances is like being in battle, but since the worst that will happen in a restaurant is a chocolate stain, I’m going to focus on Armed Forces Day.)

Sometime in the past (after History was born but before the current millennium), there were Days in the US set aside to recognize the different branches of the military. President Harry S. Truman (who really had no middle name—just an initial) established a single holiday “for citizens to come together and thank our military members for their patriotic service in support of our country.”

On August 31, 1949, Secretary of Defense Louis Johnson announced the creation of an Armed Forces Day.

Today is a day of graduation parties, of finishing high school and looking ahead to the next chapter.

For those going to college, congratulations, study hard, and read DearKidLoveMom. For those going into the work force, congratulations, work hard, and read DearKidLoveMom. For those going into the military or an ROTC program, congratulations, serve proudly, and thank you for your service. And read DearKidLoveMom.

To all those who have served or who are currently serving, we thank you.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Turns out technology and food are inexorably linked.

Have I told you about my superpower? Actually, I have several, but the one I’m talking about right now is the Ability to Kill Electronics (superhero theme music plays in background).

My business plan is that when I retire, I will rent myself out to people who want to take a break in their day. I will sit in the lobby of their business and, by my mere superhero presence, shut down all computers on the premises. The people who hired me (and their coworkers) get a break while IT frantically fixes everything. Brilliant.

Apparently, Grandpa has a similar (and more powerful) superpower. Combined, we are a human supermagnet.

Remember the long wait for a table at the restaurant the other night? (Read about it here.) Part of the Problem of the Delay was that the restaurant’s computer system crashed mere moments after we arrived. The crashed system meant they couldn’t put in orders for food, process credit cards, or – apparently – seat people.

In this particular case, the lack of technology also threw the waitstaff (two people) into A Complete Tizzy.

They cleverly switched to their backup system.

Did I mention that both Grandpa and I were present?

The backup crashed.

This meant they were reduced to using smoke signals to communicate their orders to the chef, and taking payment in the form of live chickens.

The Tizzy elevated to a full-fledged Frenzy.

The patrons meanwhile began discussing the best methods for raising poultry and the current flatbread/chicken exchange rate.

The moral of the story, Oh Dear One, is to learn basic math facts and skills—or be sure to carry an abacus around with you.

Love, Mom