Dear Kid,

Madison Avenue thinks I am A) old and B) falling apart.

“Madison Avenue” is where all the advertising companies used to be, so saying Madison Avenue means advertising.

It seems all the commercials I’m seeing on TV are targeted at those over 150.

There is nothing wrong with aging (except the extra cost of hair color). I consider getting old far better than the alternative.

On the other hand, there is nothing particularly flattering about being considered old by the advertisers.

No, I do not need life insurance targeted to those over 80 (You cannot be turned down!). Nor do I require medication that allows me to get up in the morning, go to bed at night, or do any of the activities of daily living that people sometimes require medication for.

No, I do not wish to discuss retirement options. No, I don’t need consultations about Medicare (or any of its various parts).

Madison Avenue thinks I am old and falling apart.

Or possibly, I am watching the same shows that people who are old and falling apart are watching….

Love, Mom

P.S. Happy Anniversary to those young people!

Dear Kid,

I was watching American Ninja Warrior (catching up on an episode I missed) and I have to tell you about one of the competitors.

Mostly, I’m not crazy about the little backstories the producers insert. The best I can say is that they’re usually short. I tune in to watch the ANW athletes, not to hear about their travels or to see the various obstacles in their backyards.

But Missouri State senior Caitlin Shukwit (a dance and theater major) is a little different.

Shuks (her nickname) has both OCD and Tourette’s Syndrome. The OCD means her tics come in threes, and before and during her run we can see the tics. She goes out partway through (it’s a pretty impressive run), but that’s not what I want to tell you about.

In the backstory before she attempts the course, they focus on her OCD and Tourette’s. And she says (I’m not quoting exactly—please forgive me): Sometimes I wonder “why me?” but then I think if this is the worst I have to deal with in my life I’m doing really well.

She goes on to talk about how she hopes to inspire people to change their mindset about things and see things that could be negatives as a positive.

Unexpectedly moving and motivating. And spot on. It’s all about mindset.

I hope she’ll be back next year.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

In a good way, the unimaginable is happening.

The Muppets are returning to TV.

This fall, ABC is bringing back a new Muppet show–a mockumentary, with somewhat more adult themes than previously.

Personally, I am beyond excited.

There are very few actors (and fewer acting troupes) with the versatility and diversity of the Muppets.

I hope (Disney, are you listening???) that the writers create a show up to the Muppet Acting Standards.

Who’s your favorite Muppet?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time life was easy.

That time was 6 years ago on a Tuesday morning from 8:57am to 8:58am.

Easy didn’t last very long.

Which isn’t to say that life is hard.

We have it pretty good compared to most of the world. We have enough to eat, we have a place to sleep, we have indoor plumbing, and we have NCIS.

But we have plenty of first world problems.

We have restaurants to choose from at lunch, we have multiple flavors of coffee to decide between, we have to learn new phrases like on fleek, we have more jewelry than we can wear at once, and we have The Royals (yes, it’s still awful, and yes, I keep watching).

Once you finish exams this week, you’ll be home. This is FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC for a whole variety of reasons. It also brings us one more first world problem.

Two cars, four drivers, 19 places to go.

Prepare to compromise.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Well, we’ve had quite an animal-filled week. Wombats, dead fuzzy duck and dead TV, and Rodney the Bird. (If you think a dead TV isn’t an animal, you probably haven’t been paying attention.)

Also, I’m pretty sure our house is alive.

Last weekend I spent a LOT of time cleaning. I don’t mean my standard “It’s been 3 whole minutes, it’s as clean as it’s ever gonna get” lots of time. I mean serious hours. Measured by the clock. I removed pounds of ick from our house. I put things away (crazy, right?).

Today, you would never know someone even thought about getting the house in order.

I’m pretty sure it’s the house’s fault. No one who lives here would even consider leaving clutter around.

And the ants have invaded again. You remember them. They are the little bitty black spots with too many legs that like to invade the sink (full of unclean pots and dishes) looking for a bit of free lunch. Heebie and Jeebie.

Guess what is going to be on the pismire menu for dinner?

If you guessed ant traps, give yourself a gold star.

Is it weird that my grocery list is chicken, tomatoes, eggs, ant traps?

Have a great day and enjoy studying for exams.

Love, Mom