Posts Tagged "tulips"

Put on a Jacket (I’m Cold)

Dear Kid,

Spring in southern Ohio has multiple personalities.

You can find the soft, delicate, pastel Spring ushering in gently blooming buds and vibrant tulips. And you can count on that Spring to last at least 10 minutes.

Another Spring personality comes with pollen, launched with military precision at anyone who wanders outdoors. There are not enough antihistamines in the world to successfully combat Spring in southern Ohio.

Then there is the Stormy personality. Do not, my friend, imagine gentle April showers awakening the soil for May flowers. These are violent, LOOK AT ME NOW storms bringing tornadoes, ensuring job security for weather people, sending tree branches earthward, and knocking out power wherever possible. These are storms that create flooding and snarl traffic (although to be fair, six raindrops will snarl traffic in this area).

The sun has its own set of multiple personalities during April. Some days it will hide and sulk, casting the minimum amount of light it can get away with. Other days it shines brightly, the cool weather hiding the burn that will show up on everyone’s face by dinner.

Speaking of temperature, the range in southern Ohio in the Spring is from polar vortex to heat wave—sometimes in the same day. It makes it hard to figure out what to wear. Fortunately, the layered look is popular. At least in southern Ohio in the Spring.

Love, Mom

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Spring Puppy Conversations | Translated for the College Kid

Dear Kid,

His Furriness is having  a tough spring.

It was not my idea to pose for photos before breakfast DearKidLoveMom.comMe: Come on, sweetie, Get Busy
Puppy (whispering): But Mom, Cobra’s walking with us today
Me: Yes, he is. Get Busy
Puppy (still whispering): I can’t poop in front of Cobra!
Me: Why not? He poops too
Puppy: I’ve never seen him poop
Me: Trust me on this
Puppy: This is humiliating

Puppy: What are you doing?
Me: Weeding
Puppy: You’re digging up plants
Me: I’m digging up the plants we don’t want
Puppy: When I dig up plants I don’t want it’s called digging and it’s bad
Me: Yup
Puppy: That’s not fair
Me: That’s weeding

Puppy: That’s my leash
Me: Uh-huh
Puppy: That’s my other leash
Me: Yup
Puppy: I only need one leash to go outside
Me: You’ve been chasing cats
Puppy: Only when I see them
Me: You have to stay on our property
Puppy: I do!
Me: Not when you see a cat
Puppy: Well, that’s different
Me: So the leashes go together and the rope goes here and you stay on our property
Puppy: Who is going to chase the cat?

Puppy: That’s my brush!
Me: It is
Puppy: You brushed me yesterday
Me: It’s Spring
Puppy: But you brushed me yesterday
Me: You have moved from Off Season Training status to Full Time Competitive Shedding mode. You will be brushed again.
Puppy: It’s hard to patrol for cats when you’re being brushed

Me: Please stop sitting on the tulips
Puppy: I’m sitting nicely
Me: Yes, but you’re squishing the tulips
Puppy: I’m quite comfortable
Me: I’m sure you are, but I prefer unsquished tulips. Come look at a worm or something
Puppy: I’m good
Me: But you’re sitting on the tulips which is not good
Puppy: I really have to move?
Me: Release the flower, dog
Puppy: Fine. I’ll sit on the hyacinth

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations, check out New Puppy Conversations, Puppy Conversations, and More Puppy Conversations

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