Dear Kid,

In school we’re taught that time is a standard unit of measure. One minute is one minute whether it’s now or later.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. Albert Einstein

How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. Zall's Second Law. DearKidLoveMom.comAs with so much of what we learn in school, that is complete and utter hogwash.

How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on. Zall’s Second Law

Everyone knows that sometimes time races by so fast we barely blink and it’s next week. Sometimes it takes a week for the hands on the clock to move five minutes.

For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. Doug Larson

The problem (of course) is that we can’t control which time goes quickly and which goes slowly.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

For example, there seems to be a great deal of time from when I get up in the morning until when I leave for work. I have time to cuddle the Puppy, time for coffee (make that: very important time for coffee) and breakfast, time to read the newspaper, and still have plenty of time to get my act pulled together for work.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day. William Shakespeare

Then all of a sudden, I have 5 minutes left before I have to leave the house and time speeds up. Note to world: This is when it would be helpful for time to slow down.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

The last five minutes before I race out the door, generally feels like a movie played on fast forward. The problem is my body doesn’t usually move at double time. This same phenomenon occurs right before important meetings, right before leaving for vacation, and right before rushing to a sporting event.

Note to people who are about to comment on my time management skills: This is not a plea for help. This is a scientific observation.

My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time. Steve Jobs

Some professors have the gift of being able to slow time. I know you’ve been in lectures where you look at the clock to discover only 30 seconds have passed and you would have sworn it had been at least 90 minutes. I’m considering installing one of those lecturers in the kitchen so I can control those last five minutes a little better.

Love, Mom