Dear Kid,

Once upon a time Joe Neanderthal went out to visit his friends. While he was out, all 17 Neanderthal children got sick (having eaten too much undercooked mammoth) and the fire went out while Mrs. Neanderthal was tending to them. Mrs. Neanderthal was tired and cold and wanted Joe to come home.

Not having a handy saber tooth tiger around to deliver the message, she went to the mouth of their cave and yelled for Joe. Mrs. Neanderthal had quite a set of lungs and Joe heard her, but Joe was having a good time and didn’t really want to deal with 17 sick kids. So Joe unwisely ignored her.

Not being an idiot, Mrs. Neanderthal wished she had a way to communicate more closely with Joe and almost invented the cell phone. But before she could get around to inventing, she realized she could just march over and yell at Joe in person. Which she did—to great effect and the amusement of Joe’s buddies. Since this is a family blog, I can’t repeat exactly what was said, but Mrs. N got a lovely mammoth coat and Joe spent a lot of time babysitting.

Because Mrs. Joe didn’t get around to inventing the cell phone, the world had to wait a long, long time for a mobile personal communication device.

In the early 1900s, several cartoonists used wireless phones as subject matter. During the 1940s, the military used radio-telephony links. Many people wrote about personal communication devices (think shoe phone from Get Smart) and eventually the car phone was invented.

In 1973 Motorola made the first handheld mobile phone. It was about 1,000 pounds (1.1 kg) and most assuredly did not fit in anyone’s pocket. (Except perhaps for Kanga’s, but since Roo was still in there, she wasn’t offering to try.)

Fast forward to now when children are issued cell phones at birth and upgrade to smart phones before Kindergarten. The world, she has changed.

Now you know.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. This letter is to my mommy, but I thought I’d share it with you so you’d know it is not possible to be too old for a Mom. By the way, don’t forget to call your grandmothers. And perhaps even your mother. And if you still need ideas…

Dear Kid Mom,

There was a time when I lived under your roof. Often I lived behind a slammed door under your roof. There were times when it seemed much, much too close. And there were times when ‘just down the hall’ seemed very far away.

Then I went to college. Back then, we didn’t have cell phones or Skype (how did we manage?) but no matter what, you and Daddy were always just a call away. A long distance call that involved dialing lots of extra digits and cost a small fortune, but you never mentioned the phone bill. And you were ready and willing to talk about good stuff, the not such good stuff, or pretty much nothing at all.

Then I went on to grad school and you were still there. Got a job and my own place to live—even paid my own bills—and you were still there. Got married, moved half way across the country, had short people who called me “mom” running around my house—and you were still there. Now those short people are not so short anymore and I can no longer look in the mirror and pretend I’m in my twenties.

You and Daddy are gallivanting around the globe (hope you are having a wonderful time wherever you are at the moment), but it is still important to know that you are there—just a phone call away. Sometimes an international call that involves dialing lots of extra digits and costs a small fortune, but now I can pay for the cost of the call. And it is wonderful talking to you about the good stuff, the not so good stuff, and pretty much nothing at all.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day, Mom,

Love, Your Grandchildren’s Mom and Your Kid