Posts Tagged "Sunday"

On the Plus Side, There Was a Really Good Reason to Clean the Counters

Dear Kid,

It’s April 30th.

Which means it’s National Hairstyle Appreciation Day. And National Honesty Day. And rainy and humid.

Which means if we’re really going to “honor” today, we’d have to go around telling people how much we love their horrible hairdo.

On the plus side, there was a really good reason to clean the counters. DearKidLoveMom.comPersonally, I suggest skipping the talking and moving straight to the balloons and cookies.

There are balloons and cookies aren’t there?

If you’re feeling excessively festive, we can throw in a quick salute to National Karaoke Week and National Welder’s Month.

In other celebratory news, do you know what happens when you overfill the single-serve coffee maker? Yep. You have the wonderful opportunity of cleaning up the kitchen counter. In completely unrelated news, our kitchen counters are looking exceptionally clean at the moment.

Have a great day, kiddo. Try to stay dry in all the rain and drizzle and try not to give yourself unplanned reasons to clean.

Love, Mom

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Ordinary Sunday Recap

Dear Kid,

Can someone teach me how to make medium hard boiled eggs? DearKidLoveMom.comWell, the To Do is still staring me in the face and the elves haven’t shown up to help get any of the work done. One of these days I am going to find good, hardworking, loyal elves and I will have a clean house and finished tasks. Until then, I have a house and unfinished tasks.

Dad and I spent part of this morning cleaning in the kitchen. Yesterday, he and I went to a home remodeling show where we saw lots of things we like and pretty much nothing we can afford. Shocker, I know. We decided cleaning the kitchen would be an excellent place to start. We managed to get the center island clean and the dishes in the sink dealt with before we lost steam and interest.

The good news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is annoyed with the other about not cleaning any more.

The bad news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is still cleaning even though there is a great deal more to do.


I’m giving away a giant hug to anyone who can teach me how to make perfect medium boiled eggs—every time. I keep having the problem of the white sticking to the shell so that I end up with only half an egg. Life is tough.

Love, Mom

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Bengals Football, Closet Cleaning, and the Fourth Down Fumble Rule

Dear Kid,

Yesterday was Sunday, and you know what that means: Bengals football!

And not just Bengals football—Bengals against the Steelers.

Welcome to the Jungle! Who Dey! DearKidLoveMom.comFirst quarter. No score.

But there was discussion about the Fourth Down Fumble Rule. And since I was dealing with my closet and chatting with my favorite bunny at the time, I missed most of the conversation. I didn’t know what the fourth down fumble rule was, so I looked it up. And got distracted with a whole bunch of other things.

Being That Kind of a Mom, I am here to share all this Important Information with you.

First, we must understand the difference between a fumble and a muff. A muff is a tube of fabric (generally fur) used mostly by women and girls to keep their hands warm. Kind of like a football handwarmer but classier and often white. Another definition is the tuft of feathers on the sides of the head of some fowl. (There are other non-sport definitions, but I’m not going there.)

In football a muff is “the touching of a loose ball by a player in an unsuccessful attempt to obtain possession.”

A fumble is “the loss of player possession of the ball.”

So: try to get it and miss, you’ve muffed; have it and lose it, you’ve fumbled.

In general, if a ball is fumbled there aren’t any restrictions on who can grab it.

HOWEVER, on fourth down, things change. If an offensive player fumbles the ball on fourth down, ONLY the fumbling player is allowed to recover the ball. (Same thing inside the two-minute warning.) If another offensive player recovers the ball, the ball is dead at the spot of the fumble (unless the recovery is behind the spot of the fumble in which case the ball is dead at the spot of recovery). Defenders are under no such restrictions. Which means if you’re on offense, you recover the ball to prevent the defense from getting it, not because you think you can improve your team’s possession.

Bottom line: Don’t fumble the ball.

Now you know.

Second quarter. People decide to score.

Steelers score (whatev). Bengals respond with a TD. Interception that isn’t because of a penalty (which interestingly is the first penalty of the game). And Bengals score! Woot! With 30 seconds left, Steelers are on the four yard line, 1st and goal. And Roethlisberger throws 3 (count them three) passes that aren’t caught. Pittsburg settles for a field goal from the 4 yard line.

Nobody talked about chucking, but I found it while looking for the aforementioned fumble rule, and I didn’t know what it meant.

Chucking: Warding off an opponent who is in front of a defender by contacting him with a quick extension of arm or arms, followed by the return of arm(s) to a flexed position, thereby breaking the original contact. Kind of like punching, except not.

And we go to halftime leading 14-10.

Halftime: No idea what happened at halftime, because I went to eat an orange. Fact: no one eats part of your orange if you eat the orange when no one else is home.

Third Quarter: Wait, What?

We take an unnecessary time out (but you can’t have everything). A bunch of nothing happens. Eventually, the Steelers score and it’s 14-17. Then a bunch more nothing happens. Then—just as time expires—Andy throws the ball about a thousand yards to AJ Green—TD!.

Interesting fact of the quarter: When a team scores as time expires in the quarter, they take the PAT in that same quarter.

Which we do. 21-17. Who Dey!

Fourth Quarter. Sigh

Turns out the Steelers don’t like being scored upon, and they turn up the heat at the beginning of the quarter with a great catch, but have to settle for three. 21-20.

I find things from the Paleolithic era in my closet as the Bengals take over. Bengals find a mistake and Andy fumbles the ball during the handoff. Which is unfortunate because the Steelers find the endzone. 21-28 (yeah, they went for two). But wait! There’s a flag. And some words. And…unnecessary roughness against us. How does that help?

I went into my closet for a nanosecond, and when I came back the score was 21-35 with 8:21 left in the game. This is not how things were supposed to go.

Oh, jeez. Dalton gets walloped and Campbell, the backup QB, comes out for the 3rd and 10. We don’t make it, but since we fouled we get to try again. Dalton is back. So glad he’s not hurt. We don’t make it so we punt—26 yards. Which in dog years means about 2 inches.

I go back into the closet, hoping my absence will mean football magic.

Not so much. While I now understand the 4th down fumble rule, I don’t have an explanation  the 4th Quarter Corollary in which the Bengals play three great quarters and forget to show up for the last 15 minutes. Sigh.

The game ends 21-42 which has some nice feng shui, but no other virtues I can discern.

The closet and I continue.

Keep the momentum.

Love, Mom



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Sunday, Solitaire, Blogging, and Bengals

Dear Kid,

Since you are not a blogger, I don’t know if you’re aware of the Important Role solitaire (and Diet Coke) play in creating a blog.

As you may be aware, I forgot to get a psychology degree. Actually, I’m not sure I’d want a psychology degree (I don’t like people today and psych degrees seem to involve working with people). So I guess it’s less of having forgotten to get that particular degree as not having it. But the result is the same. I am not certified. (Certifiable, I know, but not certified.)

Degree or not, I think the reason solitaire is so important is it uses the solitaire part of the brain leaving the blogging part of the brain free to think about the next sentence of the blog.

Having tested this theory thoroughly, I can tell you it doesn’t make much difference which particular game of solitaire you play, although it’s easier (for me) to switch back and forth between solitaire and blogging when they are both electronic.

Some days, solitaire seems to inspire more than others.

Today is (duh) one of the others.

Although I’m also writing tomorrow’s blog about the Bengals. It is an absolutely accurate, unbiased, and thoroughly detailed account of the game. And by “absolutely accurate, unbiased, and thoroughly detailed” I mean “I’m reporting everything I choose to report in the manner in which I see them.” Doubt the NFL is going to offer me a job.

Love, Mom

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