Dear Kid,

I was distracted at physical therapy.

Not the “Squirrel!” kind of distracted.

The “let’s give your bones some room to breathe” kind of distracted. The “your legs are pretending to be two entirely different lengths and we intend to address this” kind of distracted.

I know you’re learning about this in school which is why I’m bothering to tell you about it.

Because The Reality has nothing whatsoever to do with the theory you’re being taught.

Allow me to explain.

There I was, lying on my back, trying to overcome a diluted caffeine system (what with it being first thing in the morning), ligaments and tendons grumbling at being forced to move (everyone knows that respectable ligaments don’t move before 10am), when

WHAP!

In the mere blink of an eye, the merest nano-fraction of time, my mild-mannered khaki-clad physical therapist transmuted into full-on dominatrix mode. Black leather, spiked heels, domineering grin. The only thing missing was a whip. Oh, wait. Patient leg, whip, pretty much the same thing. And WHAP! my leg cracked through the air levitating my body a good six inches off the table. Then, PHWAM! I slammed back down (dang gravity).

“Wha? …”

“Mmm-hmmm” smiled the PT, all traces of sadism successfully hidden away.

“What?” When you’ve got a good line, stick with it.

“Well, if I’d told you what I was going to do, you’d have tensed.”

Um, yeah, and with good reason apparently.

The physical therapist molested my ankles. “Much better.”

Clearly, we do not share a definition of “better”.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Sunday is a great day. Whether you are a church-on-Sunday person or not, it is a day for taking a deep breath. The newspaper (remind me to explain to you about newspapers) is full and designed to be read over several cups of coffee or tea (or some other beverage if you prefer).

At this time of year, I particularly enjoy breakfast and the newspaper (and my beverage of choice for the day) out on porch. (When we first built the porch you were a wee bit of thing and referred to the room as the “forch.” This makes me smile.) While our grass is something of a hot mess, the birds are enjoying the birdfeeders (at least now that we put the right seed in the right feeder) and the plants are sprouting up cheerfully. It’s a nice place to be. Today it is my favorite room in the house.

Booker is out here with me and is happily enjoying the sun spots on the floor. He is also keeping a sharp eye out for invading cats. He is ready to jump—at a nanosecond’s notice—out of sun-induced sleepiness into full on I-am-an-entire-pack-of-large-angry-barking-dogs frenzy should the dreaded yellow cat appear.

There are two squirrels chasing each other through the trees. I have it on good authority that they are not juveniles playing a friendly game of tag.

Speaking of trees, it looks like the ash tree borer has bored our ash trees to death. Scientists are not sure where they get their lecture material but it appears to be much more toxic than anything you sat through this year. As of yet, we have no plan for taking down the dead-or-dying trees or for replacing them with something less ashy. Perhaps while you are home you might acquaint some of them with the sharp side of a saw?

It’s good to take a little time out every now and then to enjoy life. Hope you enjoy today.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once Upon an Age (defined as Before You Were Born), Grandpa was faced with a squirrel conundrum not unlike our very own Squirrel Challenge. Specifically, he was unable to find a way to keep a squirrel off a bird feeder. (Obviously, this was a Most Ingenious Squirrel, because it would really take a rodent of Higher Than Average Intelligence and Foolhardiness to take on your grandfather.)

The smartest squirrel on record is Rocket J. Squirrel, known to fans as Rocky of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame. (Yep, his full name really is Rocket J. Squirrel.)

Try as he might, Grandpa could not find a way to prevent the squirrel from getting to the birdseed. Before you ask, high explosives were not used—the objective was to protect the birdseed for the birds, not demolish all wildlife within a twelve mile radius.

Turns out that squirrels are quite smart especially given the size of their little brains. They demonstrate all sorts of devious behavior (have I mentioned the stare-down?) like pretending to bury nuts or seeds when another squirrel is watching. They also learn from other animals (like people) and they have a complex communication system (although not quite as complex as the communication network of a teenage girl).

Was Grandpa frustrated? He was. Did he dive into a pit of despair? He did not. Did he head to the freezer for ice-cream inspiration? I have no idea. What did he do? He re-framed the problem.

Let’s recap. Grandpa’s problem was that the squirrel kept getting to the birdfeeder and eating the seeds. Grandpa’s solution? Rename the equipment Bird and Squirrel Feeder. Ta-da! Now the squirrel was an official, expected guest and there was no problem left except for filling the feeder slightly more frequently, and he could handle that.

Why do I tell you this story? (Aside from the fact that it is amusing, I mean.)

Too often when faced with trying to solve a problem, people overlook the question of whether the problem is correctly defined. Then they get stuck in a place where they can’t solve the problem—generally because there is no solution. By redefining the problem so that they can look at things differently, new solutions pop out of the birdfeeder.

Here’s an example of a company that did it right: Xerox. Once Upon an Age (see above definition), Xerox was the copier company. One did not go to the copier, one went to the Xerox (regardless of the manufacturer). [This is all true, pay attention.] If Xerox management had insisted on thinking about their business in terms of copiers, they would probably be out of business by now. But they redefined the question of what they were and created a strategy to be the document company. That left room for them to get into the printer business when everybody and his brother had a home printer. Now Xerox has moved beyond the document company (cloud storage anyone?) and is a business solutions company. They redefined the problem.

The next time you are faced with a problem that seems insurmountable and/or unsolvable, suck in a deep breath and take a moment to think about whether you’re asking the right question (or whether there is another right question to ask).

And please make sure the bird feeders are full. (I haven’t given up the battle yet.)

Love, Mom

P.S.

I would give Uncle David credit for reminding me of the story of Grandpa and the Squirrel but I have strict policy of never listing sources on the grounds that I generally don’t have any.

Dear Kid,

I’ve been talking about libraries the last few days (Part I and Part II). It’s amazing I’ve had the attention span—squirrel!—but I’ve given this a lot of thought.

I love books. This is not news to you, I know. But I have always loved books. Mostly fiction. Mostly amusing fiction, although I have cried over my fair share of sad stories too. Books are escape, they are magic (with or without wizards), they are a way to try on other people’s lives, thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

It is impossible for me to imagine a world without books since I consider them an accessory almost as important as a great pair of shoes and sparkly earrings.

The time between books is a weird time. On the one hand, it’s freeing in that for a short time I don’t have to obsessively stay up until two in the morning frantically reading to find out what happens next. On the other hand, I feel a little adrift not having a book (or two or three) in progress. On the third hand (I like science fiction too), it is a wonderful feeling knowing I get to choose something from all the books in the library.

Libraries do not only offer printed material these days. There are audio books (love!), music, movies, tv show…the list goes on. It is wonderful that all sorts of electronic media are there for the borrowing.

But as more and more people use e-readers, I worry that books may disappear. It is horrifying to think that at some point in the not too distant future children might not go to a physical library. Or even if they do that there will be only three books on display for historical significance.

Reading a book is a wonderful tactile experience that just isn’t the same as an iPad.

Then again, I wonder what people said when scrolls first replaced clay: It’s terrible! The parchment will tear, if you don’t have to work as hard to write people won’t take it seriously!

And then when books replaced scrolls: It’s terrible! Books will take up too much space, who can even afford books, all that page turning will cause carpal page-turning syndrome!

And when the first audio books appeared: It’s terrible! Books are meant to be read, not listened to, people will forget how to read!

Happily, books are still here, audio books are still here, movies are here…there’s room for all of it.

Visit a library, Kid. There’s whole world there.

Love, Mom