Posts Tagged "silence"

How to Use the Silent Treatment Effectively | Part Uno

Dear Kid,

How to use The Silent Treatment effectively:

How to use the silent treatment effectively at all ages. DearKidLoveMom.comWhen you’re 3 years old: Take a big gulp of air and hold your breath. Burp. Explain your burp in great detail while you laugh hysterically. Eat a snack.

When you’re 6 years old: Be silent. Start playing. Forget about the silent treatment.

When you’re a 12 year old girl: Any way you want. Trying to tell a tween girl how to behave is crazy talk.

When you’re 16: Yell. A lot. Then head to your room. Slam the door (in lieu of talking) to communicate the extent of your irritation. Stay there for a long time. Emerge when you decide you have punished the world sufficiently (or when you’re hungry).

When you’re in college: Glare with superiority. Heave a Great Sigh of Suffering and then explain How Things Are or Should Be in absolute terms.

When you’re an adult: The only adult way to use “the silent treatment” is to say, “Wow. What you just said has surprised/offended/shocked/confused/angered me so much that I don’t quite know what to say. Please give me some time to think about this before I say anything we’ll both regret.” Then go think. And come back to the person and talk.

If you find yourself really giving someone the silent treatment, you are probably acting younger than your driver’s license thinks you should.

Love, Mom

Don’t forget to share No need to be silent!

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Do Not Try to Compete With This Teen

Dear Kid,

No one on the planet can convey emotion (especially disgust, derision, and general put-upon-ness) as wordlessly and effectively as your sister.

It was an innocent question. Actually, it wasn’t so much innocent as expected. Moms have to ask certain questions; it’s in the rule book.

Just don't roll your eyes so hard that you sprain an eyeball. It's so hard to explain to the ER staff... DearKidLoveMom.comApparently, teenagers have to react over act over over act in reaction to certain Mom questions.

Pi had borrowed my computer for a small moment. “Maybe,” she said in a reasonably loud, conversational tone, “I should just take the next one.”

To clarify, by “loud” I mean normal-ish tones for her which could be heard 3.4 miles away with the clarity of ringing crystal.

Normally, I can keep up with her when she jumps topics. This time I spoke before giving due time and consideration to what she’d just said.


She was unimpressed with my response. “Nothing. Never mind. I’m not talking to you. Don’t. Worry. About. It.”

This recital was accompanied by a sigh so heavy the house’s foundation sank 6 inches.

At that point I realized what she was talking about, but in the face of turning our first floor into a subterranean split level I chose “B. Never Mind.” and never minded.

A few minutes later she gave me back my computer. We still had 15 minutes before evening devotionals (America’s Got Talent) came on.

That’s when I made the Mom Mistake.

I can’t say it was a rookie mistake because I’m not a rookie. And I knew full well what I was doing. I completely understood the risk involved but figured with the approaching AGT I was well within my parental rights.

“Is all your homework done?” I asked gently.

Pi looked up from her phone. Clearly, these were fightin’ words not a question worthy of response. There was eye-rolling. There was a look of complete disbelief combined with a heavy dose of “Seriously?”.

I waited.

She continued to not answer.

The silence sat.

The air dripped with unspoken sarcasm.

Her eyebrows screamed, “You are completely ridiculous and I am showing great restraint by not explaining this to you in detail.”

All I wanted was an answer.

I didn’t get one.

But that homework better be done.

Love, Mom

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The Other Side of Silence

It seems there has never been a silence this loud. DearKidLoveMom.comDear Kid,

There are happy, contented silences in the world. And there are times when the silence is troubling or unsettling.

There is the silence right after a creak when you’re all alone in a house for the first time. Movies add suspenseful music to heighten the anticipation, but in real life there’s no crescendo to tell you the bad guy is about to jump out. The silence builds.

There is the silence after a surprising trial verdict when disbelief hangs in the air. No one seems quite sure what the next step is. Even the jury members who debated the result sit in absolute silence.

There is the silence after you’ve asked a difficult question and your entire future seems to hang in the balance. When you have no option but to wait, and the terrifying silence reaches out toward eternity even if it is only a few seconds.

There is the silence of despair after bad news. The suspended time that absorbs all sound while you try to absorb a new reality. When you wish for time to fold back on itself and undo the present. When no words form in your mind and your very thoughts are silent.

There is the silence in the stadium after a particularly bad sports injury. The band stops playing, the spectators stop cheering, the players take a knee. The entire community holds its collective breath. The longer the silence, the more serious the injury. There is no rivalry. There is no score. There is no thought except for the player on the ground and the caregivers in attendance. The crowd waits. If the player gets up, the crowd cheers in relief. If the EMTs are brought to the field, the silence stretches. It seems there has never been a silence this loud.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Tillman family and we wish AJ a full and speedy recover.

Love, Mom

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