Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there weren’t any alarm clocks. In fact, there weren’t any clocks.

When Mrs. Joe Neanderthal thought Joe should get up, she banged him over the head with his club. Since there weren’t any clocks, Joe couldn’t even say, “It’s only 5 am!” and go back to sleep. Which was OK since A) Mrs. J. N. was not the type to put up with whining and B) Joe couldn’t count.

Then along came School and Start Times and alarm clocks had to be invented.

The first clocks were used by the ancient Greeks and were made from water falling through gears and levers. This is the origin of the popular phrase: I’m sorry I’m late, there was a drought.

Sundials were an improvement since they weren’t affected by an occasional drought or deluge, but cloud cover (and night) put a damper on time-telling. Which is why bacchanalia tended to last all night (no one could say “I have to be home by 3am” since no one knew when 3am was).

The first mechanical-type clock was during medieval times (the era, not the dinner theater). Clocks told the bell-ringers to ring the bells and the bells told the people to get to church.

Finally in 1787, Levi Hutchins in Concord, NH, invented the first American alarm clock. Why we didn’t just copy the European alarm clock I have no idea. But Levi wanted to get up on time (which for him meant 4am. This ridiculous hour has caused alarm-clock rage through subsequent ages.).

Isn’t it great getting up really early on a non-school day?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

We are in the Countdown to College and I have been reading articles about helping you adjust to college life. Here are some of the best tips.

Use the same laundry detergent your mom uses at home. Smells are very powerful memory triggers and can help you feel more comfortable. For you, there are only several problems with this tip. First of all, Dad does most of the laundry. Secondly, we use two “fragrances”: Unscented and OnSale. So this isn’t going to help you very much. Find a detergent smell you like, find a friend who uses that detergent, and sniff often.

Hang curtains. Curtains feel homey, help coordinate a room, and muffle sound. We haven’t done anything about curtains yet. We should probably start by seeing if your roommate has done anything about them. If not, we can shop for material and I can make something. I promise to do it as quickly as I can. Certainly no later than Easter. Sooner if I ask Grandma to help.

Bring some food so you don’t have rely entirely on the cafeteria. I believe it was an astute observer (you) who said, “I’m going to college with more food than clothes.” Pretty sure we got this one covered. I’m also pretty sure there is more than one person ready to send you baked goods. When I mentioned this to Pi, she said, “I like baked goods!” Her expression changed slightly when I explained I was talking about sending baked  goods to you, but she brightened when I pointed out there would doubtless be some for her to taste to be sure we didn’t send anything problematic.

Walk the Walk; Set the Alarm. Preparing for the first day of school in 3rd grade meant sharpening pencils and wearing new sneakers. Preparing for the first day of classes in college means walking the route(s) at least once (possibly more if it’s a nice day) and doing a dry run alarm-clock-wise the day before. A sharp pencil isn’t a bad idea either.

Join clubs and/or school organizations. Go, join, do, enjoy. Meet people and begin forming your new community. Don’t think we can pack anything to make this easier.

I can’t believe we only have 8 days left…not at all sure what I think about this…

Love, Mom

P.S. Those are glasses on the “S” — Not sure why they look like misplaced circles.