Dear Kid,

Once Upon a Time, there was no such thing as SCUBA diving.

It turns out that Joe Neanderthal’s friend Blorg once suggested they go diving. Since it was approximately four billion degrees below zero and Blorg was not considered especially bright, Joe suggested he do something anatomically difficult with the diving suggestion.

The first person to “breath” while underwater was Robin Hood (the fox) as documented in the Disney version of Robin Hood. (Go re-watch the movie if you don’t believe me.) He uses a reed as a breathing tube. Back in 500 BCE, a Greek soldier supposedly did the same thing (go ask PADI if you don’t believe me) but Robin Hood is cuter so in this blog credit goes to him.

Alexander the Great (best books about him are the ones written by Mary Renault, but if you haven’t read The King Must Die, you should start there) reportedly hid underwater during the siege of Tyre (I’ll look that one up another day) by using a barrel as a diving bell.

Do not confuse Alexander the Great’s Diving Bell with Alexander Bell’s non-diving telephone.

Fast forward, fast forward, lots of breathing devices (and “rebreathing devices”) were invented. Most were better left alone as they tended not to work.

Then ta-da! Jacques Cousteau and Emilie Gagnan created the modern demand regulator and an improved diving suit. And modern day diving was born.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

What a lovely day in South Florida yesterday. Grandma and Grandpa and I made HUGE progress on the apartment. Every dish—out of the cupboard, clean the cupboard, sort the dishes, get rid of a bunch, everyone back in the pool. Repeat with the spice cabinet.

Then we went crazy and bought a new drying rack and real-size wine glasses at Target. I was going to buy Boggle to leave here, but there was a Major Flaw in the System: Target (at least the one we visited) did not carry Boggle. I would say something like “it boggles the mind” but you’d probably raise an eyebrow if I did.

We also visited Cousin Roz. She’s recovering from a fall (frowny face) but she is a hoot and a half (smiley face). We got caught up on all the family gossip news.

Remember the knitting basket Grandma and I went through a day or two ago? Thousands of knitting needles in every shape and size, as you may recall. Grandma found a pattern for a summer sweater that she wants to make, so on our way to dinner last night we stopped at Michael’s to find yarn. We found a lovely shade of persimmon (go look it up) and then Grandma said, “Now I need knitting needles.”

What???

“What size?” I politely inquire (and by “what size” I meant “are you out of your mind?”)

“10” says Grandma ignoring my intent.

“We found size 10,” I say somewhat patiently (and by “somewhat patiently” I mean “in a flabbergasted manner but still showing proper respect for my mother”).

“They’re too long,” Grandma informs me, still ignoring my intent.

We bought knitting needles.

For the record, I agree with her. The ones we found are much too long to be of use to anyone (and by “anyone” I mean either Grandma or me). Why I am taking them home is a mystery that will not be solved today.

After the Great Yarn Purchase, we went to a restaurant for Turkish food. I had never had Turkish food before. I’m still not 100% sure that I have. Except for the red lentil soup I had with my meal (which was very good although I couldn’t quite figure out the spice they used), the fish (while very good) was not particularly different from other fish I’ve eaten.

Still a lovely dinner with excellent company (and by “excellent company” I mean Grandma, Grandpa, and the girl at the table behind me who talked non-stop about the classes she’s taking in college. She’s studying theater and LOOOVES her current lighting teacher.).

Can’t wait to hear all about your scuba diving adventures.

Love, Mom

P.S. Happy Birthday, Grandma Pat!