Posts Tagged "sarcasm"

How to Understand Unexpected Behavior

Dear Kid,

Have you ever noticed that we (and by “we” I mean people) tend toward different behavior in different situations?

I don’t mean that you behave differently at a Katy Perry concert than you do at a symphony orchestra concert, or that you behave differently on a job interview than you do at a frat party. I mean that depending on the stresses and stressors in your immediate life, we (again, people) react and behave differently.

For example, when I take the Puppy for his regular vet visit, I’m relaxed and at ease. If I take him to the vet because something is wrong, the stress leads me down Cheeky Lane, suggests a left at Sarcasm Alley, and comes to a screeching halt Smart Ass Road. DearKidLoveMom.comFor example, when I take the Puppy for his regular vet visit, I’m relaxed and at ease. If I take him to the vet because something is wrong, the stress leads me down Cheeky Lane, suggests a left at Sarcasm Alley, and comes to a screeching halt Smart Ass Road. This trip to Bordering on Rude is not my intent at all and as I hear myself I start apologizing to the medical professionals who I know are just trying to help. They (inevitably) tell me not to worry about it (translation: we’ve seen worse but it would be best if you’d stop talking and let us finish the instructions we’re trying to give you).

Their kindness, my stress, and the fact that 11 seconds have gone by generally leads to another “joke” on my part (and by “joke” I mean an attempt to be funny that falls completely flat) and around we go on the carousel again.

The veterinary professionals have – in point of fact – seen this behavior before (and probably without all the apologies). They see it several many times a day and completely understand the source of the worry that causes it. They understand, they forgive, and they patch up the puppies that don’t bother with commenting on the situation.

We tend to carry our stresses with us, like a bad taco (For example, when I take the Puppy for his regular vet visit, I’m relaxed and at ease. If I take him to the vet because something is wrong, the stress leads me down Cheeky Lane, suggests a left at Sarcasm Alley, and comes to a screeching halt Smart Ass Road. DearKidLoveMom.comHappy Cinco de Mayo) into situations where they don’t belong.

When we’re stressed about something at home, we generally can’t leave it there (where it belongs) when we head out to work, or class, or a date. It tags along like an unwanted alien, disrupting our focus and causing us to behave in ways that seem incongruent with the time and place.

Scenario 1

Boss: How is your project going?
Employee (under normal circumstances): Fine thanks.
Boss: Great, let me know if you need anything.


Scenario 2

Boss: How is your project going?
Employee (under serious stress at home): Why are you hounding me!? I said I’d get it done and I’ll get it done! Stop treating me this way.
Boss: Huh?
Other employees: Oooh, we get to see an exorcism!


The next time you see someone behaving in a way that seems out of character, give them a break. See if they are ok, really ok. Listen for things that aren’t said.

And when they get around to apologizing for their behavior, accept the apology and move on.

Love, Mom

More Happy Cinco de Mayo here, here, and here

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First Week of October Holidays | Seriously?

Dear Kid,

Today is Name Your Car Day.

I don’t know why. I don’t know why there needs to be a specific day for car naming, and I don’t know why October 2nd should be that day in particular. But it is so here we are.

Name Your Car Day.

I speak fluent sarcasm. DearKidLoveMom.comWhatev.

It’s also Get Organized Week.

There are about a zillion things wrong with the concept of the first week in October being Get Organized Week. The first and most obvious is that it will take far longer than a week to get organized. In the space of a week, I can probably manage to get the silverware drawer organized. I might be able to add in organizing my thoughts (but probably not). Beyond that, call in the professionals and allocate a whole lot more than 7 days.

It’s also not obvious to me why one (in this case “one” means someone else) would choose the first week in October as Get Organized Week. It’s not the natural start of anything (the new year, the school year, the summer solstice), it’s not the week or so before the natural start of anything, and who the heck tries to get organized right before Halloween (which is sort of the anti-organized holiday).

You may have guessed that I will not be celebrating Get Organized Week by attempting to organize my life.

On the flip side, October is Sarcastic Month. Don’t know who invented that one or why, but I love them. And I will be celebrating to the fullest extent possible. (And I will probably be using the sarcasm font. A lot.)

Enjoy naming your car. (Happy Sarcastic Month.)

Love, Mom

Tell everyone about Why not? It’s a fun place to hang out.

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Do Not Try to Compete With This Teen

Dear Kid,

No one on the planet can convey emotion (especially disgust, derision, and general put-upon-ness) as wordlessly and effectively as your sister.

It was an innocent question. Actually, it wasn’t so much innocent as expected. Moms have to ask certain questions; it’s in the rule book.

Just don't roll your eyes so hard that you sprain an eyeball. It's so hard to explain to the ER staff... DearKidLoveMom.comApparently, teenagers have to react over act over over act in reaction to certain Mom questions.

Pi had borrowed my computer for a small moment. “Maybe,” she said in a reasonably loud, conversational tone, “I should just take the next one.”

To clarify, by “loud” I mean normal-ish tones for her which could be heard 3.4 miles away with the clarity of ringing crystal.

Normally, I can keep up with her when she jumps topics. This time I spoke before giving due time and consideration to what she’d just said.


She was unimpressed with my response. “Nothing. Never mind. I’m not talking to you. Don’t. Worry. About. It.”

This recital was accompanied by a sigh so heavy the house’s foundation sank 6 inches.

At that point I realized what she was talking about, but in the face of turning our first floor into a subterranean split level I chose “B. Never Mind.” and never minded.

A few minutes later she gave me back my computer. We still had 15 minutes before evening devotionals (America’s Got Talent) came on.

That’s when I made the Mom Mistake.

I can’t say it was a rookie mistake because I’m not a rookie. And I knew full well what I was doing. I completely understood the risk involved but figured with the approaching AGT I was well within my parental rights.

“Is all your homework done?” I asked gently.

Pi looked up from her phone. Clearly, these were fightin’ words not a question worthy of response. There was eye-rolling. There was a look of complete disbelief combined with a heavy dose of “Seriously?”.

I waited.

She continued to not answer.

The silence sat.

The air dripped with unspoken sarcasm.

Her eyebrows screamed, “You are completely ridiculous and I am showing great restraint by not explaining this to you in detail.”

All I wanted was an answer.

I didn’t get one.

But that homework better be done.

Love, Mom

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October Holidays You’ve Never Heard Of

Dear Kid,

October (which starts tomorrow in case you haven’t been paying attention) is a month full of excellent reasons to celebrate.

Not only do we have pretty much every sport imaginable (not sure when the curling season begins and ends), but we have holidays. And not just Halloween (brought to you by the color orange and lots of Oompa Loompas).

October Holidays. Who thinks of these things? DearKidLoveMom.comTomorrow (10/1) is World Vegetarian Day. Pat a cow, chomp a carrot, and you can also celebrate National Vegetarian Month (which is weird because it’s also Eat Country Ham Month and Seafood Month).

It’s Cookie Month, Clergy Appreciation Month (woot!), and National Popcorn Popping Month.

The 2nd is Name Your Car Day (I tell you this in Ernest), the 6th is Mad Hatter Day, and the 11th is Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. Someone please remind me to check with Human Resources to see what our policy is on this.

The 9th is Moldy Cheese Day (don’t want to miss that one), the 12th is Old Farmer’s Day (presumably these are the people making moldy cheese), and the 10th is World Egg Day and National Angel Food Cake Day. The 14th is National Dessert Day (take two helpings—they’re small). The 20th is Brandied Fruit Day. I didn’t know there was enough brandied fruit in the world to have a day of its own.

The 12th is also Moment of Frustration Day and the 13th is International Skeptics Day. The 22nd is National Nut Day (I leave it to you to determine which kind of nut). You can also decide for yourself what is meant by National Mole Day (the 23rd).

The 17th is Wear Something Gaudy Day, the 21st is Babbling Day (which your sister celebrates every day) as well as Count Your Buttons Day (who does that?), and the 23rd is TV Talk Show Host Day.

The 26th is Mother-in-Law Day and National Mincemeat Day (am I the only one who thinks that is hilarious?), and the 29th is Hermit Day (someone please explain to me how Hermits need a day).

October is also Sarcastic Month which seems like an appropriate response to some of these Important Holidays.

Love, Mom

We can also make it “Like” DearKidLoveMom Month if you’d like–and that’s a holiday that’s fun and easy to celebrate!

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