Posts Tagged "sarcasm font"

First Week of October Holidays | Seriously?

Dear Kid,

Today is Name Your Car Day.

I don’t know why. I don’t know why there needs to be a specific day for car naming, and I don’t know why October 2nd should be that day in particular. But it is so here we are.

Name Your Car Day.

I speak fluent sarcasm. DearKidLoveMom.comWhatev.

It’s also Get Organized Week.

There are about a zillion things wrong with the concept of the first week in October being Get Organized Week. The first and most obvious is that it will take far longer than a week to get organized. In the space of a week, I can probably manage to get the silverware drawer organized. I might be able to add in organizing my thoughts (but probably not). Beyond that, call in the professionals and allocate a whole lot more than 7 days.

It’s also not obvious to me why one (in this case “one” means someone else) would choose the first week in October as Get Organized Week. It’s not the natural start of anything (the new year, the school year, the summer solstice), it’s not the week or so before the natural start of anything, and who the heck tries to get organized right before Halloween (which is sort of the anti-organized holiday).

You may have guessed that I will not be celebrating Get Organized Week by attempting to organize my life.

On the flip side, October is Sarcastic Month. Don’t know who invented that one or why, but I love them. And I will be celebrating to the fullest extent possible. (And I will probably be using the sarcasm font. A lot.)

Enjoy naming your car. (Happy Sarcastic Month.)

Love, Mom

Tell everyone about Why not? It’s a fun place to hang out.

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October Holidays You’ve Never Heard Of

Dear Kid,

October (which starts tomorrow in case you haven’t been paying attention) is a month full of excellent reasons to celebrate.

Not only do we have pretty much every sport imaginable (not sure when the curling season begins and ends), but we have holidays. And not just Halloween (brought to you by the color orange and lots of Oompa Loompas).

October Holidays. Who thinks of these things? DearKidLoveMom.comTomorrow (10/1) is World Vegetarian Day. Pat a cow, chomp a carrot, and you can also celebrate National Vegetarian Month (which is weird because it’s also Eat Country Ham Month and Seafood Month).

It’s Cookie Month, Clergy Appreciation Month (woot!), and National Popcorn Popping Month.

The 2nd is Name Your Car Day (I tell you this in Ernest), the 6th is Mad Hatter Day, and the 11th is Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. Someone please remind me to check with Human Resources to see what our policy is on this.

The 9th is Moldy Cheese Day (don’t want to miss that one), the 12th is Old Farmer’s Day (presumably these are the people making moldy cheese), and the 10th is World Egg Day and National Angel Food Cake Day. The 14th is National Dessert Day (take two helpings—they’re small). The 20th is Brandied Fruit Day. I didn’t know there was enough brandied fruit in the world to have a day of its own.

The 12th is also Moment of Frustration Day and the 13th is International Skeptics Day. The 22nd is National Nut Day (I leave it to you to determine which kind of nut). You can also decide for yourself what is meant by National Mole Day (the 23rd).

The 17th is Wear Something Gaudy Day, the 21st is Babbling Day (which your sister celebrates every day) as well as Count Your Buttons Day (who does that?), and the 23rd is TV Talk Show Host Day.

The 26th is Mother-in-Law Day and National Mincemeat Day (am I the only one who thinks that is hilarious?), and the 29th is Hermit Day (someone please explain to me how Hermits need a day).

October is also Sarcastic Month which seems like an appropriate response to some of these Important Holidays.

Love, Mom

We can also make it “Like” DearKidLoveMom Month if you’d like–and that’s a holiday that’s fun and easy to celebrate!

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July 22 A Fascinating Day | Apologies to the World for Suggesting Otherwise

sorry puppyDear Kid,


E kala mai iaʻu


Gabh mo leiscéal

Je m’excuse

Ich bedaure

Zay moykhl



And many more expressions of Mea Culpa.

I apologize for suggesting stating pronouncing that nothing has ever happened on July 22nd Pi Approximation Day. More than one person has beaten me over the head gently suggested that perhaps had I looked a little harder I might have found otherwise.

I have been shown the Error of My Ways and hereby wish to rectify my statements.

July 22nd is a day filled with many some a few glorious fascinating vaguely interesting events and the birth of one Prince who, while nameless, is occupying most of the news casts and is therefore by definition interesting.

Speaking of which, remind me to look into the business of gift giving to newborn royalty. There was something on the news about it, but I was sweating on the elliptical and didn’t get the details except that there was a chair involved at some point. I’ll get back to you.

Back to the topic at hand. Without further ado, I present Information about July 22 without which your life would be a mere shadow of the glory it could be.

Lemme see….popes, crusades, battles, more battles, City of Albany, NY was chartered, more battles, Cleveland, OH was founded, references to what I hope is cricket because I don’t understand it, lightening kills 504 sheep in Utah (I kid you not), several somethings about baseball, Wiley Post flies around the world, it was hot someplace, it was hotter somewhere else, and – oh, look – on the other side of the earth it was cold, the House of Representatives votes to restore citizenship to General Robert E Lee several many years after his death (what? It got taken away? May have to investigate. Then again, if they name the Prince, I may forget), and a bunch of other stuff happens to people I’ve never heard of.

How could I have been so silly as to think nothing ever happened?

Now you understand the consequences of not conducting proper research.

There you have it. July 22: Pi Approximation Day, As Yet To Be Named Prince’s Birthday, and Really Important Stuff Day.

I promise not to make such rash generalizations again. At least until tomorrow.

Hope today is a mere tenth as exciting as July 22.

Love, Mom

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