Dear Kid,

It’s time to take a stand against fashion.

Don’t get me wrong—I think fashion is great. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time, money, body shape, or money (worth repeating) to indulge in all the fashion stakes and mistakes I might if I were fabulously wealthy and built like Cruella de Ville.

And I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be fashionable. Shoes (as I may have mentioned) are often much more than just a foot covering. Wearing fashionable clothes can make us feel great and behave better than we might in a pair of cutoffs and a ripped t-shirt.

However (you’re supposed to read the “however” in a mom voice), there are some trends that are ridiculous and downright dangerous.

Yes, dangerous. As in “can cause harm.”

Overspending
The first problem is spending too much on clothing. If you’re a fan of Sex in the City, you know that Carrie said “I like my money right where I can see it—hanging in my closet.” Even Penny (knock knock), Penny (knock, knock), Penny once bought a pair of shoes that put paying rent in jeopardy. Unfortunately, fictional characters aren’t the only people spending more than they can afford on apparel.

Rule #1: Don’t spend more than you can reasonably afford on clothes. Buy one or two great trendy pieces and use staples from previous seasons to round out your wardrobe.

Misfit
The second problem is buying clothes that don’t fit. I’m not sure why this is so popular right now, but it is. Girls regularly buy clothing too small; boys buy things too big. I’m sure it equals out in the cosmic cloth, but it looks bad. Just bad. When you have to spend your time hiking up your pants, they probably don’t fit (and/or you need a belt). When pieces of flesh regularly escape and need to be tucked back under your shirt, your shirt is probably too small. This is not rocket science.

Not only does it look bad, it can cause problems. Like tripping over pants than have a train longer than my wedding dress. Or wearing jeans so tight they cut off circulation in your stomach and legs (think corset for the lower extremities). Not good. Not good at all.

Rule #2: Wear clothes that fit.

Footwear
Far be it for me to slander shoes. BUT watching people try to walk in shoes that are too small (think Cinderella’s sisters trying to cram into the glass slipper) or too tight (ditto) or too high (5 inch heels? Really?) makes my teeth hurt. If you can’t walk in them, do not wear them. If you get them, practice walking in them. If you still can’t walk in them, do not wear them.

Wearing your shoes untied is uber cool. I get it. But things get markedly less cool when you step on your own shoe laces, trip, and go flying into someone’s breakfast.

Rule #3: If you can’t walk gracefully in your shoes, you’re wearing the wrong shoes.

Braces
Fashion braces (the teeth kind, not the suspender kind) may be the most dangerous trend I’ve heard of in a while. There is a new trend to have braces as a fashion statement and teens are putting them in themselves. Of course, these braces have passed all sorts of medical inspections (not) and between the lead content and mis-installation are causing all sorts of problems.

Rule #4: Either you had braces or you didn’t. Don’t go there without an orthodontist.

Stay gorgeous. Stay smart.

Love, Mom