Posts Tagged "rules for life"

How I Really Want the World To Be (And How It Actually Is)

Dear Kid,

I’ve finally figured out the problem with Life, the Universe, and Everything (extra points if you get the reference).

The problem is that the Way I Want the World To Be is not (unfortunately) the Way the World Is.

Which is sad.

For example, the Way I Want the World To Be is I can eat as much chocolate as I want and still lose weight. The Way the World Actually Is is that my scale says, “Bwah ha hahahahahaha. Ha.”

The Way I Want the World to Be is elves show up to clean the house. The Way the World Actually Is is the dust dragons say “Mwahhhhhahhahahaha.”

There is the distinct possibility that the chocolate and the elves have both been eaten by the dust dragons.

The Way I Want the World to Be is people taking care of their animals in a safe and loving way. The Way the World Actually Is is Rescue Shelters.

The Way I Want the World to Be is me sleeping half an hour later than usual because I have everything ready and I don’t have any early meetings. The Way the World Actually Is is me up at 4:45am because Awake Happened.

Which part of Queen of the World is hard to understand? DearKidLoveMom.comThe Way I Want the World to Be is I’m Queen of the World (or at least my own little part of it). The Way the World Actually Is is that I’m Queen of the World (at least my own little—very little—part of it). Well, more like I’m Queen of my car when I’m the only one in it.

I’ll take what I can get. At least until the rest of the world catches up.

Love, Mom

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Keeping Myself Company

Dear Kid,

A week or so ago, I was at a restaurant, eating by myself.

Society of course disapproves. Society believes people should dine en masse and singles should remain behind closed doors. Society can take a flying leap.

In this particular instance, I was on a business trip and was delighted to have some alone time. I had contemplated room service (all the better to eat barefoot), but a quick glance at the room service menu convinced me that was Not Going to Be a Good Idea.

There are advantages to dining alone. I got to remain at the table for exactly the amount of time I wanted to be there. No one tried to share my crab legs or teased me about eating them indelicately. And no one expected me to come up with sparkling conversation. I was – at the time – sparkle-less and conversationed-out.

Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness. ~George Bernard Shaw DearKidLoveMom.comSociety frowned. I ignored Society. Especially because at that moment Society consisted of two people who had lost a considerable amount of money gambling and who were therefore drowning their losses in heaping plates of buffet food.

There are people who seem permanently in need of companionship. You know the type. They hop into a new relationship the nanosecond one ends, never taking the time to listen to themselves. They are the ones who would never consider going someplace by themselves (probably not even the restroom). They are the ones who would rather starve to death (or deal with an inadequate room service menu) than venture into a restaurant solo.

They miss a lot of life.

There is nothing wrong with friends and relationships and dinner companions. But there is also nothing wrong with keeping yourself company.

Love, Mom

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