Dear Kid,

For best results, play the above video, then read the post.

Roommates are one of the best/worst/mediocre parts of college. I do not claim to be an expert on any roommates (except perhaps the ones I had when I was in college), but I can pretty much guarantee

  1. You will probably not burst spontaneously into song upon initially meeting your roommate.
  2. Your roommate is unlikely to be….green.

On the off chance your roommate is green, please be kind. Remember, it’s not easy being green (extra points if you get the reference).

IMPORTANT: Just a reminder that becoming instant BFFs with your roommate is an urban myth right up there with alligators in the sewer system. If you do end up being good friends with your first roommate, that is all to the good. If you end up being reasonably cordial, that’s fine too.

Because I am just That Kind of a helpful Mom, I have thoughtfully provided you with my Top Ten Rules for living happily (or at least not too unhappily) with your roommate.

Mom’s Top Ten Rules for Living with a Roommate

  1. Don’t throw your underwear on the floor.
  2. Don’t bring home weird science experiments and keep them in the refrigerator.
  3. Don’t bring home weird friends and keep them in the refrigerator.
  4. Don’t name the mold in the bathroom. If it warrants a name, it’s time to clean.
  5. Don’t finish your roommate’s peanut butter and blame it on the dog. Especially if you don’t have a dog.
  6. Don’t leave the windows open all night when it is snowing, sleeting, or monsooning. Being greeted with snow drifts or a canoe is not a good way to start the day.
  7. Don’t park your bike in front of the bathroom door.
  8. Don’t practice a musical instrument in your room in the middle of the night. Especially if your instrument of choice is the vuvuzla.
  9. Don’t plan a wild party in your dorm room during exam week. Even more importantly, don’t plan two wild parties in your dorm room during exam week.
  10. Call your mother every now and then.

See how easy is is to get along with your roommate?

Love, Mom

Just in case you weren’t sure….