Adopt a rescue dog - funny pictureDear Tall Kid,

Mom and I went for a lovely walk sniff this morning, and now she is racing around muttering something about not setting her alarm, so I decided to write to you today.

I’ve been meaning to ask you for some help for a while. I find Mom and Dad a little confusing. You’ve been here longer, so I figured maybe you get it.

I do my best to be a good part of the pack and do things to make Mom and Dad happy. You know, like rolling around on a dead bird so that I smell beee-u-ti-ful. (And I think we can all agree that I have the most advanced sniffer in the house–I know my smells.) Mom never appreciates this and into the sink I go for a bath. Why they think wet dog is a better smell than dry dog and dead bird, I have no idea. I keep hoping they’ll learn. Did they ever make you take a bath when you rolled in dead birds?

I try to help with the food budget by eating while I’m outside. Poop is delicious and nutritious! I notice Mom and Dad don’t yell at you when you get your own snacks.

Then there is the dinner thing. I hear Mom say it’s a family dinner and everyone should come sit down at the table. I sit very nicely, and does anyone feed me? Nope. I wait very patiently, but no. I try puppy eyes. Nothing. I sit up. No food for me at all. Any suggestions?

I think I should be in charge of security. It’s a really important job and I think I am very good at it. Daddy checks the locks at night, but that isn’t enough. You get it, right? You simply can’t let Intruders come Anywhere Near the house. How can I explain to them the Importance of Being Vigilant? I make sure to let dogs, cats, and people who don’t belong here know that I am Guarding the House. And everyone says “shhhh.” I don’t think “shhh” keeps Intruders away…

Mom and Dad are wonderful. There are things they understand really well. Like tummy rubs. And ear scratching. And snacks. I LOVE Treats! Just wish I could get them to understand a few things better.

Thanks for helping.

Love, Booker

thanks to Auntie Ro for sending the funny photo (it’s making the rounds on the internet, so no idea who to give credit to)