Posts Tagged "reality tv"

I can sleep all the time because I don’t have a cell phone or reality TV

Dear Kid,

It’s that kind of a day.

I have no idea what that means either.

I can sleep all the time because I don't have a cell phone or reality TV. DearKidLoveMom.comLast night I spent time hanging out with Pi and watching Total Divas (bad “reality” TV) rather than writing a blog and this morning I spent time sleeping rather than writing a blog and so now my coffee and I are busy staring at a blank screen. (The Puppy has taken over the sleeping so that is still being attended to.)

But it’s that kind of a day, by which I mean it’s an odd day. It’s too warm to turn on the heat, but too cold not to. At the moment I am cuddled under three blankets with my laptop warming the top of my lap and my coffee warming the inside of my tummy. Nothing is warming my toes and they are complaining about it. I told them about your toes turning purple during your class about what cold does to extremities. They “oohed” politely and pointed out that you are young and resilient and—more importantly—attached to someone else which in no way makes them any warmer. Silly toes.

Pi is off at an event for Crayons to Computers (such a good child working for such a good cause) and Dad is grocery shopping (he’s only called me once from the store so far—well, twice if you count the pocket dial). His soccer games got canceled because it is cold and rainy. Yes, I know you don’t cancel soccer games when it’s cold and rainy, but these people did. At least they had the courtesy to call him before he left the house.

There’s a great deal to be done around the house today. Cooking and baking and cleaning and snuggling the Puppy. Unfortunately, none of those things (except Puppy snuggling) sound as nice and cozy as sipping gulping coffee under my blanket. So it remains to be seen what will get done. I have GOT to get better elves.

Hope your weekend is off to a great start.

Love, Mom

 

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American Ninja Warrior’s Caitlin Shukwit

Dear Kid,

LOVE American Ninja Warrior. DearKidLoveMom.I was watching American Ninja Warrior (catching up on an episode I missed) and I have to tell you about one of the competitors.

Mostly, I’m not crazy about the little backstories the producers insert. The best I can say is that they’re usually short. I tune in to watch the ANW athletes, not to hear about their travels or to see the various obstacles in their backyards.

But Missouri State senior Caitlin Shukwit (a dance and theater major) is a little different.

Shuks (her nickname) has both OCD and Tourette’s Syndrome. The OCD means her tics come in threes, and before and during her run we can see the tics. She goes out partway through (it’s a pretty impressive run), but that’s not what I want to tell you about.

In the backstory before she attempts the course, they focus on her OCD and Tourette’s. And she says (I’m not quoting exactly—please forgive me): Sometimes I wonder “why me?” but then I think if this is the worst I have to deal with in my life I’m doing really well.

She goes on to talk about how she hopes to inspire people to change their mindset about things and see things that could be negatives as a positive.

Unexpectedly moving and motivating. And spot on. It’s all about mindset.

I hope she’ll be back next year.

Love, Mom

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Kermit Is Back

Dear Kid,

Who is yoru favorite Muppet? DearKidLoveMom.comIn a good way, the unimaginable is happening.

The Muppets are returning to TV.

This fall, ABC is bringing back a new Muppet show–a mockumentary, with somewhat more adult themes than previously.

Personally, I am beyond excited.

There are very few actors (and fewer acting troupes) with the versatility and diversity of the Muppets.

I hope (Disney, are you listening???) that the writers create a show up to the Muppet Acting Standards.

Who’s your favorite Muppet?

Love, Mom

 

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Wombats Poop and Other Things You Don’t Know

Dear Kid,

Today’s Word of the Day is wombat because why not?

Wombats, the common, the southern hairy-nosed, and the northern hairy-nosed, live in Australia with their marsupial cousins (quick—name two marsupials).

Dang cute wombat. DearKidLoveMom.comIn addition to being dang cute, wombats are endangered. The northern hairy nosed wombat (isn’t that just the cutest name ever?) is one of the most endangered animals on the planet.

Wombats have terrible vision. They are nocturnal, live underground, and are mostly solitary, which means there’s not much to see. Which may be why wombat optometry never really caught on.

Wombats are reasonably big—they can weigh up to 88 pounds (maybe there’s a rule that says they can’t go to 89?).

If absolutely necessary (and by “absolutely necessary” I mean “Seriously Absolutely”) wombats can run. Very, very fast. Faster than all but the fastest humans. (And by “fastest human” I mean a toddler trying to avoid naptime.) Specifically, wombats can run up to 25 miles per hour which is pretty speedy (Usain Bolt has been clocked at 28 mph but he didn’t keep it up very far).

Running might be fun for some humans (present author not included) but as far as wombats go, sleeping, eating, and pooping (we’ll get back to the pooping) are much more fun. Which makes wombats equivalent to college students on the weekend.

They can also jump. None have been recruited to the NBA because they have terrible ball handling skills.

Wombats have tough backsides (and, yes, by “backside” I mean buttocks). To defend itself, a wombat will leap (with all the grace of a nearly blind, 88 pound sack of potatoes) into a burrow and block the entrance with its tushy.

If you’ve ever studied Australian wildlife, you’ll know that there is an abundance of predators with lots of sharp teeth and toes and whatnot, and you’ve got to be pretty darn tough of tush to expose your backside to all that predator-ness.

Back to the poop, which may be the most interesting thing about wombats (never thought I’d say that, did you?).

Wombats poop cubes. Not because they have tough backsides. And not because they have play-doh-like square sphincters.

Wombats have perhaps the driest poop on the planet. Their digestive process takes 14-18 days which allows most of the nutrients and water to be absorbed (this is good for the wombat). The highly dry poop and lack of rectal muscle contraction mean (you guessed it) cube-y poopy.

Like many other animals, wombats leave poop lying around for a variety of reasons. Poop explains a lot about who the poop-leaver is. If you are well-versed in these things (and wombats are) you can write a thesis about the poop-leaver’s gender, health, age, recent dietary changes, and feelings about reality TV. You can also tell that there is a wombat around and perhaps you ought to leave the territory and build your own warren elsewhere.

Wombats like to be left alone. And poop is an excellent way to say “get thee gone.”

Wombats like to put their poop out like billboards. And they like their poopbillboards to be highly visible (emphasis on high). So they put their poopy pellets on top of rocks or logs (or billboards if they happen to find one). The cube shape keeps the poop from rolling off its perch.

Aren’t you glad today’s word of the day is wombat?

Love, Mom

Koalas and Kangaroos are both marsupials, proving that being a marsupial increases your cuteness factor by 1000%. Which leads to the following beauty tip: If you’re not cute enough, grow a pouch.

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Dad Killed the TV and What I’m Doing About It

Dear Kid,

Dad killed the TV.

Before you freak out, let me assure you that the murder victim was the old TV upstairs not the studly new TV in the family room.

How do I know it was murdered? Because it won’t turn on.

How do I know Dad was the murderer? Because when I fell asleep last night, the TV was happily spewing light and sound in the form of Burn Notice reruns. When I awoke it was off. When I tried to turn it on, all I got was Blank Screen. Since Booker’s not allowed upstairs, it must be Dad’s fault.

I would have made a fantastic forensic scientist.

Bottom line: We are—at least temporarily—a one TV household.

And this one-ness is causing stress and strain. Because there are those of us who would prefer to watch hockey playoffs and those of us who would prefer to watch The Royals. Those of us who would prefer to watch endless games of hockey and those of us who would prefer to watch NCIS. Those of us who would prefer to remain glued to the TV for any snippet of hockey-ness and those of us who would prefer to watch Almost Anything Else.

And right now those Thoses and the these Thoses can’t both have their way.

(If you’re going to mention DVR-ing or watching on computers, forget it. We’re old, I work on the computer while I watch TV, and I’m of the I-want-to-watch-it-now-not-later contingent.)

Bottom line: We are going to acquire a new TV.

Before you freak out, let me assure you it will not be nearly as studly as the one in the family room. On the other hand it will not be as archaic as the dead one.

I will be the one selecting the TV. Which means it will be pretty. And it will be what I want.

And it will probably be sitting in a box waiting for you to hook it up when you get home from school.

EXCEPT

Except that Dad came upstairs and reset the cable box–and the dead TV came back to life.

I feel pretty stupid for not having thought of that.

And I don’t get to buy a new TV.

Yet.

Love, Mom

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