Dear Kid,

There is more to color than meets the eye.

Partly that’s because (according to scientists) color doesn’t exist—the concept of colors is all in our fabulous brains. Never mind that we all see the same thing—it isn’t there. Whatever.

Turns out that (nonexistent) colors have a huge impact on us.

We all know that walking into a room with color we like makes us feel better. We also know that most moms will not paint their teenager’s room black. This conflict may be the source of all teenage angst.

Red is an interesting color. It tends to make people eat more (so do yellow and orange) which makes it a fabulous color for restaurants hoping to get us to order dessert. It was trés trendy to paint dining rooms red for a while. Red is not the official color of Weight Watchers.

Red can also increase muscle reaction time, raise your blood pressure, and make you want to gamble more. Guess what the predominant color in most casinos is?

You can celebrate a red-letter day, see red when you’re angry, or red-shirt a freshman. You can be distracted by a red-herring, take a red-eye flight across the country, or find your business in the red (none of which are great things).

Yellow is a harsh color (I did not make that up) and should never be used in a baby’s room because studies have shown babies cry more in yellow rooms. Yellow can also make people nauseous which is why designers don’t use yellow on airplanes.

Green can increase concentration. I’d suggest you go study on a nice lawn somewhere but the distractions probably outweigh the green. Which it is not easy to be.

Pink is (officially) a soothing color and is therefore used on walls in mental facilities and prisons (except where they use a horrid shade of green). Some sports teams paint the visitors’ locker room pink in the hopes that it will dissipate some of their energy and enthusiasm. Pink is also the color Pepto Bismol which some people find soothing to their tummies.

Purple is the color of royalty and 7^th grade girls.

Blue conveys trust, reliability, and loyalty (which is why people wear blue suits to a job interview—think “true blue”). Studies have shown that blue is calm and peaceful and can help people be more productive. Weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms. And if you’re feeling blue you can listen to the blues.

Wishing you just the right shade of today.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Happy Monday! Hope you had a good weekend.

We had a low-key and soggy weekend. Whatever you’ve heard about the terrible storms/tornados/monsoons in Indiana is true but in our particular corner of the world it just rained and blew. There are branches down (but mostly the branches that were going to come down sometime this winter anyway). There was even a nice break in the torrential downpour to let Booker walk the privies in not too much rain (extra points if you get the reference).  Sending our thoughts and prayers to those who were hit hard by the storms.

November 18^th was quite a day in history. Here are the highlights:

In 1307, William Tell shot an apple off his son’s head. There was no television coverage so we can’t be sure it happened. There is an overture but it wasn’t written in time for the event itself so the sound track was probably little Will mumbling about putting his crazy father in a home and locking up the bows and arrows.

The first English book, “Dictes & Sayengis of the Phylosophers”, was printed in 1477. It wasn’t until centuries later that printers were discouraged from inventive spelling.

In 1718, Voltaire’s “Oedipe” premiered in Paris. At least one critic wanted to put his own eyes out. Also in Paris (albeit several years later), the Louvre officially opened.

In 1820, US Navy Captain Nathaniel B Palmer discovered Antarctica. This was excellent news for penguins who then got their day in the sun (ok, they’d been in the sun) who then got their day in the limelight (remind me to look up the origin of the word ‘limelight’) but terrible news for Mrs. Captain Nathaniel B Palmer who had asked her hubby to run down to the corner store for a quart of milk.

November 18^th was an excellent day for theater. Major Barbara, Skin of Our Teeth, and Fiddler on the Roof all premiered. If I were a Rich Mom I would take you to see them all. In 1928, Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse appeared in NY in “Steamboat Willie” which is important because Steamboat Willie would eventually become an answer to a Jeopardy! question.

In 1963 (an excellent year), Bell Telephone introduced push button telephones (you know, the thing you can use to call your mother–hint, hint). One year later (not using the telephone), J. Edgar Hoover described Martin Luther King as a “most notorious liar” and the word “twit” was invented.

In 1902, Morris Michton of Brooklyn created a stuffed bear and named it after Teddy Roosevelt.

And then, O Best Beloved, we have the Most Important, Auspicious, Monumental, and Meaningful event to have happened in all of history on November 18^th: In 1894, the NY World published the first newspaper Sunday color comics section. (I have to sit quietly for a moment and give thanks.)

Have a colorful day, sweetie,

Love, Mom

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Kansas City from Oklahoma! (excerpted)

Ev’rythin’s like a dream in Kansas City,
It’s better than a magic lantern show!
Y’ c’n turn the radiator on
Whenever you want some heat.
With ev’ry kind o’ comfort
Ev’ry house is all complete.
You c’n walk to privies in the rain
And never wet your feet!
They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go….