Dear Kid,

A Perfect Sunday (obviously) starts with the night before. Last night Dad took me to see the North College Hill Community Theater production of The Real Inspector Hound. The accents came and went a bit, but it was delightful (I LOVE Tom Stoppard [the author]) and a nice little space. The only thing that could have improved it would have been to tie it with another of Stoppard’s one act plays. On the flip side, with only one act we got home before bedtime.

Also last night the Puppy slept through the night. Which was a Big Freakin’ Deal. We are quite hopeful that this is a sign that the 4am barking phase is over and done with.

Today, I hope to get to the gym early and be home in time for the most important event of the year. You got it: the Puppy Bowl.

This year they’ve included several “disabled” dogs. Um, “differently-abled” please. The really wonderful news is that all these pups are from shelters and have now been adopted. Big cheer from the endzone if you ask me.

Also, flippin’ cute.

Then there’s football.

I really hope it’s a good game. It’s the last one of the season and I hope, hope, hope it provides 100% in the way of entertainment and sport and 0% in the way of scandal. We, the People, need that.

Meanwhile, the sun is shining, the streets are clear, and the coffee is hot.

This is shaping up to be a perfect Sunday.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was a playwright named Will. He wrote a bunch of plays that are not the subject of this blog.

Once upon a time, there was a Kid who had two parents who went to one of Will’s plays. More like one and a half of Will’s plays since there was a play and a play within the play. Which was playful.

Cincinnati Shakespeare in the Park came to Blue Ash last night. #cincyshakespark

Lovely evening, lovely company, great production, free Shakespeare. What more could you ask for in August? (Don’t answer that.)

The play in question: Midsummer Night’s Dream. You’ll be glad to know neither Dad nor I dreamed during the play.

To summarize the play (because you should know these things as a well-educated college student type person):

Once upon a time (I may have mentioned that part, but it’s worth repeating), there was a dude named Theseus who killed the minotaur and fell in love with Hippolyta, the #1 Amazon. That part is absolutely true. I know because I read The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea. And as we know, if it’s in a book it must be true. Somehow Will turned Theseus into a Duke which is wrong but really isn’t important. What is important is that the Duke is getting married (to the aforementioned Hippolyta) and a lot of people hang around when royals get married.

In the hanging around group: Hermia, daughter of Egeus (who is the walking embodiment of a pig-headed, unenlightened father). Egeus wants Hermia to marry Demetrius; Hermia thinks that’s about the worst idea on the planet since she’s crazy in love with Lysander. Luckily, Lysander loves her. Unluckily, the law at that time was in favor of girls doing what papa said. To round things out, Helena is in love with Demetrius who is inconveniently in love with Hermia. Are you keeping up?

Meanwhile, a bunch of tradesmen (yes, men) from the village decide to put on a play to entertain the Duke, et al. They plan to act out over act a production of Pyramus and Thisbe (which is a version of boy-loves-girl, boy thinks girl’s dead, boy kills self, girl wasn’t dead but corrects that when she finds dead boy. Think Romeo and Juliet except shorter and with a lion). The most important overactor is Bottom. A word that is funnier when said by a Minion than when said by a Shakespearean actor.

Meanwhile (keep up—you’re smart), the fairies are having a tiff. And by “tiff” I mean the king of the fairies is having a spat with the queen of the fairies. Because having a tiff is not something men do well, the king and Puck (a mischievous fairy) cause a great deal of mischief. The king sends Puck zooming around the world to get a flower. Not just any flower, but a magic flower that (when applied to sleeping eyes) causes the person to fall in love with the first living thing they see when they wake up. (NOTE: Best zooming we’ve seen in a long time.)

The fairies are in the forest. The actors meet in the forest to rehearse. Meanwhile (yes, the main theme is “meanwhile”), Hermia and Lysander go to the forest to elope. This is (of course) nuts since everyone knows you elope with a ladder not a forest. My guess is Will still had forest scenery left over from the whole Birnam Wood thing.

Everyone goes running around the forest. Puck gives Bottom an ass’s head and the fairy queen falls in love (temporarily) with Ass-Topped Bottom. Detmetrium and Lysander both fall in love with Helena (which does not amuse Hermia in the least). Eventually Puke fixes things so everyone is in love with who they are supposed to be in love with. Everyone thinks they’ve had weird dreams (hence the title), so they get married.

Important quote #1: What fools these mortals be. Which people quote all the time.

Important quote #2: And though she be but little, she is fierce. This is important because Grandpa used to quote this at me. What with my fierceness and vertical-challenged-ness.

Important quote #3: Yark! I’m getting bitten by mosquitoes! Dad and I stayed at the amphitheater to chat for a bit and got chomped.

Love, Mom

Kuddos to Cincinnati Shakespeare Company which you can find in the park every now and then and at CincyShakes.com always.

Dear Kid,

Being the kind of great mom that I am, I decided to play with Booker a little bit this morning.

“Come here, baby,” I called to him. Ever hopeful that there might be food involved, he trotted over to see what I wanted.

“Want to play?” I asked him. He stuck his head in my lap so I could easily scratch the back of his neck. I obliged and asked again, “Do you want to play?” He nudged my hand in a gentle rebuke that I had neglected scratching duties. I scratched.

After a minute or two, I grabbed a toy out of his bin. ‘Oh, boy!’ I could hear his brain cells say, ‘It’s my toy!’

I threw the toy across the room and he went scampering after it. It’s not an enormous room but when you have little bitty midget dachshund legs, there is plenty of room to scamper. He pounced on the toy with glee, gave me a look to say ‘Thanks, Mom!’ and lay down to chew on the toy.

“Bring it here, Booker,” I called, “Come on baby.” Important chewing continued.

I coaxed. He chewed.

I finally pulled another toy out of the bin. “Look what I have,” I sang. His head popped up. Another toy, oh boy! He came running over. “I need the toy,” I told him. He looked at the one in my hand to explain that I had the toy. “No goofy,” I said, “the one over there.” And I pointed across the room. He looked hopefully at the one I was holding. “Go get the other toy,” I said and pointed again. After a minute, he resigned himself to getting the first toy with a set of his face that clearly said, “You could probably have gotten it yourself and if I were a teenager, you can bet I’d be rolling my eyes.”

Once he brought it back, I threw the second toy. Being well trained, I pulled another toy out of the bin. He promptly brought me toy #2 and I threw toy #3. When he brought that back I threw toy #1 toward the front door. Booker went skidding across the wood floor, screeching to a halt at the last minute. He picked up the toy, and trotted back (via the carpet route). He looked to see if I had something to trade for the toy in his mouth. When he saw I did, he dropped his and waited for the throw.

Scamper, retrieve, throw another toy. Repeat.

After we’d done this about 6 times, he sat down smack in the middle of the room, dropped the toy, and scratched his ear. He enjoyed that so much he scratched the other side.

Done scratching, he picked up his toy, gave me a look, and trotted over to the window (toy in mouth) to see what was going on in the world. I was not forgotten, I was ignored. I think he’s been taking lessons in How to Snub Humans from a cat somewhere.

I got up to go see about breakfast.

Eventually he came looking for me with a wounded expression that said, “I was just looking outside for a minute—where did you go???”

I got the last word (so to speak)–I left out all his toys. He’ll have to clean them up later. Assuming no one trips over them in the meantime.

I’m off to put some of my own toys away.

Love, Mom

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