Posts Tagged "photo"

Puppy Conversations | The Photo Shoot

Dear Kid,

The Puppy was the star in his very own photo shoot.

Puppy: I had to have a bath
Me: Yes, you did
Puppy: I smell ridiculous
Me: You smell clean
Puppy: That’s what I said—ridiculous

My friend Beth The Photographer came over to the house.

What part of "I'm busy sniffing" is confusing to you? Puppy Conversations #PuppyConversations DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: I’ll go roll in something so I smell better
Me: You will sit right there and wait nicely for Beth
Puppy: She’s going to think I smell awful
Me: She’s going to think you smell clean
Puppy: I’m so embarrassed
Me: Try not to look embarrassed during the photo shoot
Puppy: I’ll try not to look clean either

Puppy: Someone is here! Stranger danger! There is someone coming to the door! Alert the marines!
Me: It’s Beth. I told you she was coming to take photos
Puppy: I don’t know you! You’re at my house! Call the police! Tell the neighbors! Alert the media!
Beth: Hi, Puppy. Nice to meet you
Puppy: Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you too. Would you like to play with my toy?

Puppy: Mom
Me: What sweetie?
Puppy: She has a big black bag
Me: Yes
Puppy: I don’t know what it is
Me: It’s her camera equipment
Puppy: I sniffed it. It doesn’t smell like food
Me: I shouldn’t think so
Puppy: Can I play with it?
Me: Absolutely not
Puppy: Can I sniff it again? Because it’s been a lot of places
Me: Happy sniffing
Puppy: I’m always happy sniffing

Beth: Why don’t we take some photos outside?
Puppy: Outside? I love outside? Can I go outside with you?
Me: Yup. You’re going to be in the photos
Puppy: Psstt. Mom?
Me: Yes sweetie
Puppy: Does “be in photos” hurt?
Me: Not at all
Puppy: Will you be there?
Me: Absolutely
Puppy: OK. Let’s go outside!!!

Puppy running with the ball. Puppy Conversations #PuppyConversations DearKidLoveMom.comMe: Fetch the ball!
Puppy: I will run to the ball!
Me: How about you bring it back to me?
Puppy: Hey! There is something interesting over here to sniff
Me: Bring me the ball
Puppy: You threw it. You get it.
Me: I have a treat
Puppy: Bringing the ball! Bringing the ball!

The Sun is In. My. Eyes. Puppy Conversations #PuppyConversations DearKidLoveMom.comBeth: How about we try some photos in the sun?
Puppy: I love the sun! Nap time!
Me: Sit
Puppy: Sitting like a good boy
Me: You are a very good boy. Look this way
Puppy: The sun’s in my eyes
Me: Try to open your eyes and look at me
Puppy: Sun. In. My. Eyes.
Beth: Let’s go back to the shade

Me: Say “thank you” to Beth for taking your picture
Puppy: Thank you to Beth for taking your picture
Beth: You were a very good boy
Puppy: You are a very nice lady. Would you like to play with my toy?
Beth: I have to leave now
Puppy: You’re not going to stay and scratch my tummy?
Beth: Didn’t you get enough scratching before?
Puppy: Is she serious?
Beth: Goodbye baby
Puppy: I am exhausted. Nap time…

And that was the photo shoot.

Love, Mom

Who do you know who would enjoy Puppy Conversations? Share the love
Puppy Conversations #PuppyConversations DearKidLoveMom.comSee more puppy conversations

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Selfies Causing Death (Russian Government Intervenes)

Dear Kid,

There is a new way for college students to be idiots.

Of course being idiotic is never limited to college students, but people of a collegiate age often think they are invincible (meaning they are not able to be vinced).

As the Russian government warns (and CNN reported) the new threat is (wait for it): Death by Selfie.

No, this is not a problem of blinding flashes (My Eyes! My Eyes!) because most of us recover from seeing spots. It’s not a problem of “radiation poisoning” from cell phones. It’s not a case of people bashing each other over the head with selfie sticks. It’s not even people dying of embarrassment over bad pix.

It’s really Death by Selfie.

It seems that some of these Rhodes Scholars are taking such extreme selfies that they are bypassing regular lunacy and heading straight for the morgue.

It’s hard to do well in school when you’re on a slab in the morgue.

Rules for Selfies According to the Russians with commentary by me (Here’s the Russian Rules for Selfies.)

Do Not take a selfie while you’re holding a loaded gun. Especially if you are pointing it at yourself. You might confuse which button to push.

Do Not take a selfie while you’re snuggling a wild animal. In fact, avoid the wild animals altogether.

Do Not take a selfie while you’re standing on a railroad track that trains are in the process of using.

Do Not take a selfie while you’re on scaffolding at a construction site. Especially if you don’t have a hard hat and safety rigging.

Do Not take a selfie dangling your feet over the edge of a skyscraper. Just avoid the tops of skyscrapers.

Do Not take a selfie with a live wire. Do not take a selfie with a dead wire. Avoid exposed wires.

Do Not take a selfie while you are falling down steps. Do not take a selfie falling up steps.

Do Not take a selfie while running in front of a car. Or truck. Or bus. Or any other moving vehicle.

Do Not take a selfie on the roof. Especially a pitched slope roof. Especially on a sharply pitched slope roof.

Do Not take a selfie while severely under the influence of alcohol. Or drugs. Or idiot friends.

Do Not take a selfie while falling off the back of a boat. Do not take a selfie while falling off the front of a boat.

For heaven’s sake, just stop falling.

I tell you about these things because apparently not everyone knows.

It’s a good thing the Russian government is on top of the situation.

Love, Mom

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