Posts Tagged "pet"

Puppy Conversations | Puppy Needs a Pet

Dear Kid,

Are you the pet or am I the pet? DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: Mom. We need to talk.
Me: Please. Go right ahead.
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You what?
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You are a pet.
Puppy: Don’t be silly. I are a people.
Me: So explain this pet thing to me.
Puppy: Did you see the video of all the animals snuggling?
Me: Yes.
Puppy: I think we should get some.
Me: Some?!
Puppy: Well, you have to have two to snuggle. You and me. They and them.
Me: What kind of pet were you thinking about?
Puppy: There are different kinds?
Me: Lots of different kinds.
Puppy: We should get a good kind.
Me: You know pets are a lot of work, don’t you?
Puppy: What do you mean “work”?
Me: You have to take care of a pet. You have to walk them and feed them and brush them and all sorts of things.
Puppy: No problem. You’re very good at those things.
Me: Thank you, but you may have missed the point.
Puppy: So when are we getting me a pet?

Love, Mom

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You Won’t Believe What Today Is

Dear Kid,

You are not going to believe what today is.

I don't need thumbs to tell you I love you. Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day. DearKidLoveMom.comHappy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day! (Seriously.)

I took a highly scientific poll to find out what people thought their pets would do if they had thumbs.

The top responses I made up were

  • Huh?
  • I don’t know, maybe suck his thumb?
  • Where would a snake put a thumb?
  • Text, no question.
  • Serve herself more food. All day long.
  • Where do you come up with these things?

I asked the Puppy what he would do if he had thumbs. He stared at me for a minute, wagged his happy tail, and licked my feet. I thought he showed great restraint in not answering the question.

Happy If Your Pet Had Thumbs Day. (Feel free to enjoy your own thumbs today too.)

Love, Mom

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World’s Largest What?? Not Every Animal Should Be a Pet

Dear Kid,

We’ve discovered a new program. By “we” I mean Pi and me, and by “new program” I mean World’s Largest Pets on Animal Planet.

I thought World’s Largest Pets would be things like pet hippos or elephants. Pi thought we’d be watching Great Danes.

Instead, we found ourselves watching a HUGE Burmese Python, a capybara, a big rat, and wolfhounds.

When I say leave me alone, I mean LEAVE ME ALONE! DearKidLoveMom.comThe python probably should have been in a zoo or left in the wild. It was big huge enormous. And by “enormous” I mean the size of Montana. The state, not the Hannah. According to the show, it was one of the largest snakes in England. And it was not happy about going to the vet for a checkup. One-of-the-largest-snakes-in-England knows how to make its displeasure known.

The capybara was adorable. His owner spends more on food for him than on food for herself. She got him a swimming pool. She gives him full run of the house even though one of a capybara’s favorite things to do is roll around in the mud. We never found out how he feels about veterinarians.

Capybaras as pets? Some people think so. DearKidLoveMom.comThe wolfhounds were cuter than cute if a 7 foot dog can be called cute. (I have no trouble calling a dog of any size a cute puppy.) The couple in the profile breed wolfhounds and they are very careful about who they give puppies to. If the puppy-adopter-to-be doesn’t fit with their notion of how a puppy-adopter-to-be should interact with the adult wolfhounds, the p-a-t-b goes home without a puppy.

Yes, I skipped the rat. I think it was a rat. I’m really not sure because there was big discussion about whether our Puppy should be getting up off his favorite pillow and going for a walk. Dad was in favor of the walk before the rain began; Puppy was in favor of sleeping. Guess who won?

Love, Mom

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