Have you heard of eyelash perms? Clearly, I’m behind the times, because I hadn’t heard of this trendy beauty treatment until recently.
The idea is straightforward—like your eyelashes before the treatment. Well, not your eyelashes. You have gorgeous lashes. Sigh.
But not all of us have beautiful, thick, upturned lashes.
Back in the day, those of us that wanted curly hair but weren’t blessed with cooperative locks got our hair permed. The process went something like this.
Sit in the salon chair for about 73 hours while someone painstakingly rolled tiny bits of your hair in individual curlers. Squinch your eyes tightly closed while the stylist soaks your head with perm solution. Mop the drippy part out of your eyes, off your forehead, and off the very back of your neck where it wanted to trickle the most. Wait. Pretend your scalp doesn’t itch or burn. Repeat while the neutralizer was applied. Wash, cut, dry, have curly hair.
Then go through the whole thing again when the curls grow out. Because if you think growing out bangs is hard, it is nothing compared to growing out a perm.
So it was a long, uncomfortable process with results that were (in hindsight) something of a fashion mistake. Faux curly hair was not necessarily a good choice.
On the other hand, there is no question that gently curled eyelashes are a good choice. They make your eyes look bigger and more alert. This is why we spend countless minutes every day curling our lashes and slathering on mascara.
At least some of us do.
So the idea of permanently curled lashes seemed worth investigating.
Until I figured out that what was uncomfortable on my head would be ridiculous on my eyeballs. Can you imagine someone rolling your lashes on tiny little rollers and then pouring ouch-y stuff on your eyes?
And here’s the kicker—the chemicals can cause your lashes to break—entire effort, defeated.
And here’s the double kicker—even if it works perfectly, your lashes will grow out, fall out, and in just a few months you’ll be back to straight eyelashes.
All in all, I’m sticking to an old fashioned curler and a boatload of mascara.