Dear Kid,

Once upon a time there was a river. It was a nice river except is was crazy polluted. And it had been working very hard for a very long time. While the river didn’t want to retire, it rather hoped someone would take care of it a little better.

The river was called Glug by close friends and the Ohio River by everyone else. The river had been given its name by the Iroquois one birthday (Ohi:yó means Good River which it was at that point in its life). It was 981 miles tall long and carried a lot of tributaries (piggy back style).

The river was the friendly type and snuggled up to six states while keeping in touch with several more in its drainage basin.

The first Europeans to see the river arrived in 1669. They didn’t even bring a thanks-for-letting-us-visit present.

Eventually, lots of people moved in and – wham! dams, pollution, big mess.

For a long time, the river ran from the problem (get it? river running? of course you do) and then along came a Very Nice Man (VNM).

The VNM spent a lot of time with the river, cleaning it up, sprucing up its shores, helping people enjoy it, and educating kids about taking care of it (called “Being Environmental Stewards”). He created a Foundation to help take care of the whole watershed and to teach students about the importance of taking care of our resources. He named the Foundation after river, which the river thought was very nice.

The river knew not everything would change overnight, but it had been around for a long time and it was willing to wait and work with the VNM.

Please LIKE Ohio River Foundation and make a donation to ORF as a birthday present for the Very Nice Man.

Don’t forget to call (as in your real voice–not just a text) Dad today to say Happy Birthday.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

In case you haven’t been paying attention (what with all the studying you’re doing), the world now has one less dam than it did a few weeks ago.

Ohio River Foundation (and a whole bunch of other people, but I’m not married to their ED) arranged to have the West Milton low-head dam removed to return the Stillwater River to its original free flowing bed.

The dam was built in 1918 to power the local trolley. The local trolley is no longer either local or a trolley but the dam continued to sit there creating a lake and slowly disintegrating. Personally, I’m convinced that the dam was disintegrating because it sat there without exercising. See how important it is to get up and move around every now and then?

Also, I’m convinced that the construction of the dam (almost 100 years ago) was illegal since no beavers were consulted. Don’t you just love the idea of a little beaver wearing a yellow hard-hat and scurrying around giving engineering advice? (Must stop for a fit of giggles.)

Anyway, over the last week or two, Ohio River Foundation and Those Other Folks worked together to take the dam down bit by bit. This was far less dramatic than the explosion we were promised when this project began 4 years ago, but the beavers said take it slow, so that’s what happened.

Basically, a big honking yellow machine (see video) took out a notch in the dam. Once the level of the lake stabilized, wonderful (and probably very cold) people dug up the fresh water mussels that had been quietly minding their own clammy business for however long they’d been alive. The mussels were then given a nice hot meal, a lecture about bathing regularly, and a ride to a re-gentrified neighborhood upriver.

The beavers were going to protest since they wanted the mussels for dinner, but union rules are very strict.

You would think with all those mussels the dam would be strong. (Sorry, it just had to be said.)

Why rescue freshwater mussels?

At the turn of the century, the Ohio River basin was home to 127 of the 297 freshwater mussel species native to North America. Since that time, however, human changes in the environment have taken their toll; 11 mussel species are extinct, and 46 others are classified as endangered or species of concern. The Fish and Wildlife Service’s (FWS) Ohio River Valley Ecosystem Team has identified mussels as one of its highest resource priorities.
Ohio River Foundation

Rinse and repeat until the entire dam was removed and all the mussels that could be found were relocated.

Obviously, there’s still much to be done and Ohio River Foundation (and Other Folks) are hard at work getting nature back to nature. Anyone who would like to make a donation to help with this effort can do so at www.ohioriverfdn.org (yep, it’s tax deductible).

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Friday night the Sycamore Aviators soundly defeated whoever it was they were playing. We were not there due a previous commitment, so we had to rely on the newspaper, Twitter, texts from all of Pi’s teammates, etc. to get the news. She returns to the field next week to the great joy and relief of the special teams coach.

In puppy-raising news, Auntie M and Sean took Tanner to “college” at Guiding Eyes for the Blind just before you went to college. Auntie M said that at a restaurant on the trip “Tanner brilliantly executed the “be cute” and “provide obstacle for waiter” commands.” So proud. Once at school, he had to take a placement test (just like your math placement test, he wasn’t allowed to use a calculator). Their new puppy will (we think) be arriving sometime this week. Lots of idle speculation (my fave) about which puppy it will be. I’m confident in predicting he will be adorable and fluffy (in a puppy sort of way, not a Gabriel Iglesias sort of way) and that sooner or later we will get a photo. Puppies show here above are pretty much guaranteed not be be raised by Auntie M and Uncle Sean. Last minute addition to the post: Anakin must have arrived either last night or early this morning because I just received this adorable picture (thanks Grandma!). Welcome to the Family Anakin. May the Force be with you (too easy, I know) and may you grow up to be a wonderful addition to the Guiding Eyes family.

In Other News you will, I’m sure, be delighted to know that there is a new Guinness Book Record for the World’s Thinnest Sheet of Glass. It’s just 2 atoms thick which means it won’t be replacing windshields anytime soon. (Researchers think there will be uses in nanotechnology. But since they discovered it by accident, they aren’t worrying too much.)

Twitter has announced it’s going public (as in offering stock) which is probably totally uninteresting to you since it is unlikely to change anything about Twitter and you are a college kid which by definition means you have no money to invest in the stock market. Moving on.

Dad is at the Great Ohio River Paddle (GORP) today. He left at some crazy hour this morning (and by “Crazy Hour” I mean I’m not sure why he went to sleep in the first place). I suggested he take Booker (Booker thought it was a great idea) but Dad thought the notion of riding an hour and a half each way with a whining dog was not his idea of a Fun Sunday. Can’t say I completely disagree especially because he’ll be driving home in the truck which doesn’t have a Backseat for Little Dogs to Ride In. Dad will race home once the event ends and it will be all hands on deck (or all hands unloading truck) to empty out all the food and equipment, get the truck returned, and get Daddy off to the airport.

In addition to the Mad Dash to Unload the GORP truck, today will be full of excitement here. Booker may get a bath (he has very mixed feelings about that–the bath idea sounds terrible, but the Cheese After the Bath is Quite Wonderful), Pi will do homework, I will attempt to relocate our kitchen (it may have wandered away again), and other weekend-ish activities.

If you have a moment, you might send your new Cousin Anakin a welcome greeting.

Love, Mom