Dear Kid,

It’s official. The Year is Gone—Long Live 2014.

I have mixed feelings about New Year’s as a celebration. I love the optimism of the birth of a new year. I love the chance to say I can wipe the slate clean and become the person I really want to be. I love the opportunity to think about the changes I want to make. And the appetizers are generally really good.

On the other hand, I’m not sure that there is anything particularly magical about January 1^st (with the exception of Cousin Steven’s Birthday which is always magical). We have the ability to take stock any day of the year, to make lasting change regardless of the date on the calendar. Statistics show that most people don’t keep their new year’s resolutions more than 3 days and 42 seconds (yet they spend 3 weeks writing their resolutions). If we know that, why do we insist on drafting resolutions every year, on making promises to ourselves that we have no real intention of keeping?

Because we really do want to make change. We really do strive to be better. We truly want to lose 10 pounds, go to the gym every day, get started hunting for a summer job, do our chores on time, get better grades. And January 1 gives us a minute to take a deep breath, list out those intentions and make a real start. Even if we didn’t make it to Day 4 last year, we have the chance to do better this year.

Studies have proven that trying to make a zillion changes at once is generally not successful. People are more likely to make real change (that lasts longer than 259,242 seconds) by making small, incremental changes rather than trying to revamp their entire existence.

So think about who you want to be and what you want to achieve in 2014. Make plans to take manageable, incremental steps to reach those goals, and go for it. Be the best you possible in this new year.

Wishing you a wonderful, happy, and healthy 2014.

Love, Mom

As a birthday present for Cousin Steven, you might want to sign up to have DearKidLoveMom delivered right to your email. Or Like us on Facebook. Or both! I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. I can also appreciate it for him (because his teeth are rather new. Extra points if you get the reference).

Binker by A. A. Milne

Binker-what I call him-is a secret of my own,
And Binker is the reason why I never feel alone.
Playing in the nursery, sitting on the stair,
Whatever I am busy at, Binker will be there.

Oh, Daddy is clever, he’s a clever sort of man,
And Mummy is the best since the world began,
And Nanny is Nanny, and I call her Nan-

But they can’t See Binker.

Binker’s always talking, ‘cos I’m teaching him to speak
He sometimes likes to do it in a funny sort of squeak,
And he sometimes likes to do it in a hoodling sort of roar…
And I have to do it for him ‘cos his throat is rather sore.

Oh, Daddy is clever, he’s a clever sort of man,
And Mummy knows all that anybody can,
And Nanny is Nanny, and I call her Nan-

But they don’t Know Binker.

Binker’s brave as lions when we’re running in the park;
Binker’s brave as tigers when we’re lying in the dark;
Binker’s brave as elephants. He never, never cries…
Except (like other people) when the soap gets in his eyes.

Oh, Daddy is Daddy, he’s a Daddy sort of man,
And Mummy is as Mummy as anybody can,
And Nanny is Nanny, I call her Nan…

But they’re not like Binker.

Binker isn’t greedy, but he does like things to eat,
So I have to say to people when they’re giving me a sweet,
“Oh, Binker wants a chocolate, so could you give me two?”
And then I eat it for him, cos his teeth are rather new.

Well, I’m very fond of Daddy, but he hasn’t time to play,
And I’m very fond of Mummy, but she sometimes goes away,
And I’m often cross with Nanny when she wants to brush my hair…

But Binker’s always Binker, and is certain to be there.

Dear Kid,

There are 525,600 minutes in a year (most of the time anyway). Some minutes seem longer than others, but we all get the same general allotment.

2013 has been a year full of change for you: turning 18 and being legal, graduating from high school, starting college, joining the crew team (I didn’t predict that one), finishing your first semester of OU (OU, Oh Yeah), and possibly several other things I don’t need to know about.

News flash: 2014 will be full of change too.

Not that I know of any particular event(s) waiting in the wings to pounce (my ESP is lousy), but college is a time full of new and interesting experiences. The world is generally full of change but somehow college intensifies the “changiness”. Or maybe it just compresses a lot of change into a short time. Or focuses the changes around you. Or all of the above.

You can’t necessarily predict the changes and you can only control some of the changes, but you can always control your reaction and response to change.

Many people will spend a great deal of time writing New Year’s Resolutions (crowded gym for the first few weeks of January anyone?). Resolutions are (imho) a fine thing, but crazy difficult to stick to for most of us. Maybe we should add to our list being able to face change with grace and kindness. Not that that one will be easy to stick to all the time, but it’s probably worth the effort.

My wish for you is that all the changes you encounter are (in some way, shape, or form) positive ones.

Happy almost 2014!

Love, Mom

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Dear Kid,

Once Upon A Time, I went to college. It was fabulous. (Don’t get me wrong—life before college was happy—but college is a little different.) I met great people, got to know New England winters, and I learned weird things like double entry accounting and that people from Kansas wore wool plaid shorts with knee-socks in the winter (both concepts took me years to understand). It was wonderful.

Then I went to graduate school. I was living in Manhattan with the World’s Greatest Roommate (Grandma Pat), I was going to school in Harlem, and I met wonderful people. We had group projects and Thursday Night Gatherings and I loved it. It was the happiest time of my life.

After graduate school, I landed my dream job. I traveled, worked on exciting projects, and enjoyed the freedom of being 20-something in New York City. It was the best time of my life.

Then I met Daddy and we got married. I had my best friend (we didn’t know how to say BFF back then) as my roommate and it was absolutely the best time of my life.

When you came along, things changed (for the better). I was exhausted (you were not known for sleeping) but you were the happiest, most wonderful person in the world, and I loved spending time with you (still do). It was magical and the best time I could possibly imagine.

We moved to the midwest and added Pi to the family. Watching the two of you was (usually) a joy. I couldn’t imagine anything better.

Eventually, you both grew out of diapers and naps and we were able to go on longer excursions. You went from being interesting babies to being incredibly interesting people. You taught us all sorts of things and it was by far the best time of my life.

As you got involved with sports, my life evolved again (yup, I became a soccer mom). I loved watching you play (except for the time when you almost got kicked in the head). I had a whole new dimension in my world and it was The Best.

Each step along the way has gotten more and more interesting. There have, of course, been bumps—some of them bigger than others. Some of them don’t seem too important now; some of them I’d still rather not think about. Would I trade them if I could? Probably not (except for the really bad spaghetti at Mammoth Cave when you were 2—no one should have to endure that). Even the car wreck that left its permanent fingerprint on my back helped make today…today. And today is the best time of my life.

As we move into the New Year, I wish you sweetness and health and happiness. I hope this year brings you the best time of your life—at least for now.

Shana Tova, kiddo,

Love, Mom