Dear Kid,

On the list of my top 100 Favorite Things in Life, car shopping is negative 4 billion. Maybe not even quite that high.

About a week ago, Dad’s car started smoking. Not the nicotine habit kind of smoking, but the I’m-out-of-radiator-fluid kind of smoking. Since the car is about 6 zillion years old with about that many miles on it, we decided it was time to replace rather than repair.

Dad went car shopping.

Then he wanted me to go with him for a final test drive.

Then we started talking to the car selling people.

I started to document the process, but I bored myself to sleep, so I stopped. You’re welcome.

Last night we drove the fire-breathing red car up to the dealership where we exchanged it for a new red car which does not belch smoke.

Dad has a new car.

You should probably send him a congratulatory text.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Me: We can’t go out tonight
Dad: Why not?
Me: There’s a spider in the car
Dad: What?
Me: There is a spider in the car. We can’t use the car
Dad: You’re kidding, right?
Me: Nope. Spider. In car.
Dad: How did you drive home?
Me: Not very well once the spider attacked me
Dad: Attacked you
Me: Yup
Dad: Want to tell me about this attack spider?
Me: I thought it was outside the car. It wasn’t
Dad: And it attacked you
Me: Yes. And then I smacked my knee on the steering wheel
Dad: Why?
Me: I don’t know why it attacked me. It must just be a vicious spider
Dad: Why did you smack your knee?
Me: Well I wasn’t trying to smack my knee. I was trying to get rid of the spider and smacked my knee as part of the process
Dad: Getting rid of a spider involves smacking your knee?
Me: Only if you do it wrong. Which is why we can’t go out tonight. And why I need ice for my knee.
Dad: What happened to the spider?
Me: If I knew, one of us—and by “one of us” I mean you—could probably do something about it
Dad: What color was the spider?
Me: Pale
Dad: Pale isn’t a color
Me: On this spider it was a color. Or maybe it was Drab Pale
Dad: Is that one of those weird colors you made up like teal?
Me: Teal is a great color. If the spider had been teal, this might be a very different conversation.
Dad: It would?
Me: Actually, only the color part would be different
Dad: We leave in 3 minutes
Me: Maybe I wasn’t clear
Puppy: I can be ready in three minutes
Dad and Me: No
Me: Unless you want to eat a spider
Dad: No! I’ll go look for the spider
Note: Some sighs are small and subtle. Dad’s was neither.
Dad: No spider. Let’s go.
Me: Are you sure?
Dad: I’m sure. Let’s go

We went. I was not attacked by a spider. Although I’m still a little concerned about driving to work today…

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Sorry for the late post today. What with all the running around (which had nothing to do with getting ready for college and everything to do with running general errands), the day somehow got off balance.

It’s a good thing your father enjoys negotiating. As you know, we are car shopping. As you may know, I LOATHE car shopping (which is one of the reasons my car is nine thousand years old (give or take a decade or two)). There is just absolutely nothing good about the process. With the possible exception of having a new vehicle at the end, but even that is iffy.

At this rate I figure I’ll have a new car by the time you get married. Maybe.

In the meantime, I continue to enjoy the unusually cool August weather (which goes nicely with my non-existent car air conditioning).

Love, Mom